


Barisi Advent 2016

by jamesgatz1925



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Advent Calendar, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Smut, probably, standalone chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-02 18:46:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 26,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8679202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesgatz1925/pseuds/jamesgatz1925
Summary: Based on a tumblr post, 30 days of "which of your OTP does this thing?". It'll be fun!





	1. Chapter 1

**26) Who kissed who first?**

* * *

 

 

When Rafael was in high school, he liked a girl who was way out of his league and too pretty for him. She was too smart and too good and too everything, even too tall for him. She was perfect, and Rafael spent more than a year pining over this girl. He never told her how he felt, he just admired her from afar, too afraid to do anything.

Rafael feels like he's in high school again.

Literally staring at Sonny Carisi across the conference table, he feels 17 again. He'll never tell Carisi how he feels, he'll never tell another soul the thoughts he has towards Carisi. He's embarrassed in his own head of how he feels. He's embarrassed of all the time he had spent growing out of his confidence issues only for it to be shattered by a thirty-something year old who grows a really awful mustache.

Carisi writes quickly on the legal pad. He's helping Rafael with another case, and it's far too late for them to be alone together. Rafael is far too tired for this.

"Something I can help you with, counselor?" Carisi slowly looks up, drawing out a blink and Rafael figures he's feeling the lateness of the hour as well.

 _You're even beautiful with dark circles under your eyes_ , Rafael thinks.

Immediately, he replies, "I think we'd better call it a night."

Carisi looks at the stack of files he needs to take notes on. "I still got a whole stack over here--"

"We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow."

Carisi marks his spot and stands. "If you say so, I'm not arguin'."

Rafael follows the younger man up, pulling on his suit jacket as well.

"Thanks for your help, detective."

They meet at the door. Carisi reaches for the doorknob.

"Goodnight," Carisi mutters, then leans over and pecks a kiss to Rafael's lips. "See you tomorrow," he adds, then steps out the door while Rafael just stands completely stunned.

Rafael replays the last minute in his head at least ten times, trying to decipher whether or not he was daydreaming Carisi kissing him goodbye. It's not unlikely, he's daydreamed about kissing Carisi before. And he's so tired, maybe it was a dream.

Footsteps echoing down the hall knocks Rafael out of his trance. In seconds, Carisi is in front of him again.

"Did I just--"

"I think so."

Carisi runs a hand through his still-perfect hair. "Jesus, oh god. Barba, I'm so sorry."

"I...it's ok, Carisi."

Carisi rubs his eyes. "I'm so embarrassed. It's like calling your teacher 'mom' or something, kissing your coworker. I can't believe I just did that, I'm such a--"

Rafael takes hold of Carisi's hands and pulls them away from his face.

"Carisi, it's ok."

Carisi looks at Rafael fully for the first time. "It is?"

"It was just a little bit..."

"Moronic? Idiotic? You've got a bigger vocabulary than me--"

"I was going to say fast."

Carisi's eyes widen. Rafael slowly smiles, feeling calm yet excited, and no longer unconfident.

"Oh...fast," Carisi repeats, slowly starting to match Rafael's smile. "I can do slow."

They lean together, this time meeting in a sweet kiss. Carisi's mouth tastes like the coffee they just drank, but Rafael doesn't mind. Carisi's mouth feels hot and inviting, he feels amazing.

Rafael pulls away first, feeling much more awake but knowing they need to go home to rest for tomorrow's trial prep.

"Go home Carisi," he says to a blissful looking detective.

"See you tomorrow," Carisi says, kissing him one more time.

Rafael feels the tingle of Carisi all the way home, the anticipation of tomorrow making him too excited to calm down for sleep.

He feels like he's in high school again.


	2. Chapter 2

**27) Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?**

* * *

 

It's 2 in the morning; Rafael checked (he guesses) fifteen minutes ago when his bedmate hopped onto their bed and turned on his side's light.

Rafael can hear the crunch and can smell the heavenly scent, so he knows Sonny is eating pizza in their bed. Again.

Sonny's been working the graveyard shift the past few weeks, but tonight is his "day" off. Which means lunch is in bed at 2 AM.

"Can't you just try to go to sleep?" Rafael asks, hopeful. "For me?"

"I'm wide awake, Raf."

"Then at least turn off the goddamn light."

"I can't eat in the dark!"

"Then go eat in the kitchen like a normal person!"

Sonny sighs. "I don't want to be in the kitchen at 2 AM."

"Dios mio," Rafael mutters, rolling over, away from Sonny. "You're exhausting."

Rafael somehow manages to fall asleep as Sonny is eating. He doesn't even hear Sonny get out of bed or notice the lights in the hall or their room go out. But suddenly Sonny's arms are wrapped around him and he's content.

Until...

"Rafi?"

Rafael wonders if he'd stand fit for trial if he was asleep at the time of killing his partner.

"I might actually stab you," he threatens.

"I need a drink of water."

"Then go fucking get one, Sonny."

"But it's dark."

"And?"

"And I want you to go with me."

"I'm not even going to reply to that."

Sonny scoots even closer to Rafael. "You're awake anyway," he says.

"And you're a grown man, Sonny."

"What if, like, I get attacked or something?"

"New York's Finest, my ass."

"Rafi!"

"I'm going to consistently text you while you're trying to sleep tomorrow afternoon. Actually, maybe I'll just stay home so I can bother you face to face."

Rafael can feel Sonny's breath on the back of his neck. It tickles, but it's soothing. He'd missed Sonny, not being able to sleep next to him lately has been hard.

"Come on, please."

At least when Sonny hasn't been home, Rafael has been sleeping.

"Go away."

"Fine," Sonny pouts, throwing the blankets off (of both of them) and stomping out of the bed. He yanks the door open, then stomps out of the room.

As soon as Sonny's footsteps disappear down the hall, Rafael hops out of bed and locks the door.

With a satisfied grin, he waltzes back to bed and spreads out comfortably.

Loud footsteps are heard running down the hall, immediately followed by loud banging on the door.

"Rafi, come on!"

Rafael doesn't move.

Sonny begins to rhythmically knock on the door. "Rafi--" *knock, knock, knock* "--Raf--" *knock, knock, knock* "--Rafael!"

The pattern continues four more times before Rafael calls it quits and gets out of the bed. With an annoyed grunt, he unlocks the door and yanks it open.

"Shut. Up."

Sonny casually strolls into the room. "It was dark out there, Rafi."

Rafael rolls his eyes, then joins Sonny on the bed once again.

"I'll be quiet this time," Sonny tells him, inviting him under the blankets.

"That's all I ask."

They settle in again, Rafael's eyes drifting closed immediately after his head hits the pillow.

Short minutes pass. Rafael should've counted.

"Rafael? I never got a drink of water."

Rafael practically growls at him. He thinks maybe he will take the day off tomorrow just to keep Sonny up all day. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two uploads tonight because I missed Day 2!

**11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?**

* * *

 

Someone thought sharing silly stories about Rafael and Sonny would be funny, which is why Rafael is hearing about the excitement Sonny would show when Benson would tell him to go help Rafael with a case. Or how Sonny would get excited when Rafael would show up at the precinct. Or how Sonny would defend Rafael if anyone would bad mouth him.

"Back when Carisi would beg us to invite you to go out with us after cases," Fin supplies that tidbit.

Sonny blushes slightly. "I didn't... _beg_."

Rafael stops him. "Carisi had to beg you to invite me?"

"I didn't mean it like--"

"Like you wanted to hang out with us, Barba," Rollins steps in for Fin. She makes her voice deeper to mimic Rafael. "' _Is Carisi going to be there? Maybe I can stop by_.' And then you'd add some bullshit about needing to talk to him about a case. Sure. Drunk in a noisy bar, the perfect place to discuss important work-related topics."

Now Rafael blushes and tries to hide behind his glass.

"Aww, Raf," Sonny says, teasing Rafael. "You only wanted to go if I was there? You wanted to spend time with me? What, did you like me or somethin'?"

Rafael side-eyes him. "You realize this is our engagement party, right?"

Sonny playfully pokes him in the belly. "Don't change the subject. You had a crush on me." He's still teasing Rafael.

Rafael rolls his eyes, but he cracks a smile when Sonny pokes him again.

"I did not have a 'crush' on you, what am I, 12?"

Sonny steps close to him. Rollins and Fin exchange a look and agree it's time for refills at the bar.

Once alone, Sonny's voice shifts to his sweet and flirty tone that's reserved just for Rafael.

"I had a crush on you," Sonny admits. "I thought you were cute."

"Cute? Just cute? Puppies are cute, Sonny."

"Well, cute when you were, like, sipping coffee or something. But in court, or when you were sassin' me--"

Sonny pauses, so Rafael prompts him. "When I was sassing you..."

"You were sexy."

Rafael grins, then takes hold of Sonny's tie and pulls him forward. They share a short kiss, but stay close together when they part.

"You had a crush on me," Rafael teases this time.

"Yeah, huge crush. Good thing I've got the moves to land someone so hot."

"Sure. Good luck next time, Sonny."

Rafael walks away laughing at Sonny's shocked and hurt expression.

"Rafael! That's not funny!" he calls, following Rafael to the bar.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**19) Who drives and who has the window seat?**

* * *

 

Rafael yawns again and rubs each eye. He turns the music up a little higher and takes another sip of his cold coffee. Sighing deeply, he rests his head against the back of the seat and blinks.

Rafael used to like driving. Even in the streets of New York, where traffic is ridiculous and there's no real point in owning a car, he liked driving. Even when he'd be stuck on 5th Avenue for an hour trying to go North ten blocks. He liked it.

That was before this road trip.

"Drive with me to my sister's new place in Chicago!" Sonny had said.

"It'll be fun!" Sonny had said.

"I just need you to keep my company!" Sonny had said.

Well, it's 9 PM, which is early for Rafael, but their journey began at 7 AM and all that time spent in a car can make anyone sleepy.

 _14 hours in a car_ , Rafael thinks. Which...is a very long time. Didn't Sonny say it was around 12 hours? Shouldn't they have arrived in Chicago already?

Rafael takes a deep breath. "Sonny?" he asks.

Sonny, mashed against his door with his chin to his chest, doesn't bother opening his eyes. "Yeah, Rafi?"

"Uhm, where the hell are we?"

Sonny sits up with a grunt and fishes for his phone. Finding it dead, he plugs it in to the car charger and they wait in silence as it powers on. Rafael quietly fumes. If Sonny got them lost...

Finally, Sonny's phone turns on and he taps around for a minute before muttering, "Oh, shit."

Rafael manages to stop himself from slamming on the breaks. "Where are we?" he asks through gritted teeth.

"Don't freak out."

Rafael takes a deep breath.

Sonny quietly says, "We're about an hour outside Nashville."

"We're in Tennessee?!" Rafael yells.

Sonny throws his hands in the air defensively. "Well how was I supposed to know! You're the one who's driving! You didn't notice any big signs that say Tennessee! We crossed how many states and you didn't notice?!"

"Being the passenger, which, by the way, you said you would be driving, you should be the one navigating! It's not my job to be checking road signs when they're a competent adult sitting next to me!"

"Well I can't exactly take it back now, can I? It's not like I can go back in time--"

Rafael rolls his eyes. "Oh, shut up, Sonny! Just accept fault and we'll figure out what to do from here."

"Maybe we took a wrong turn while I was driving and you should have been navigating, huh? Maybe you should have--"

"Maybe I shouldn't have come with you. This whole thing was stupid, this is stupid. We've only been dating for two months, we didn't need to go away and spend extended amounts of time together."

"Because spending the last four weekends in a row together hasn't been 'extended time'. Because the hours I spend busting my ass doing whatever you tell me to do isn't 'extended time'. You're right, Rafael. I'm the idiot for thinking this would be, I don't know. Fun?"

Surprisingly, Rafael manages to calm down a little bit. Fighting right now really wouldn't solve anything, even though it's his nature to immediately pick a fight. For some reason, he hasn't felt like fighting with Sonny in their two month affair.

"I'm not calling you an idiot, Sonny," he says. "I'm just saying, the job of the passenger is to navigate. And you're right, maybe we did take a wrong turn while you were driving. We won't know, and either way, we're in fucking Tennessee. So what do we do now?"

"I'll tell you what we do," Sonny says. "We drive to the nicest hotel in Nashville, we make my sister pay, and we tell her we'll get to Chicago when we get to Chicago."

Rafael cracks a smile at that. "Ok, but first I'm pulling over. It's your turn to drive."

Sonny smiles back. "Deal."


	5. Chapter 5

**24) Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?**

* * *

 

Their childhoods were very different. Different decades, different cities, different cultures, different languages. But two things are the same between their childhoods, with Rafael's Abuela and Sonny's Nonna: dancing and cooking. Better yet, dancing while cooking.

Both men remember music playing while preparing meals in tiny kitchens with too many people. And both men can remember their grandmother's stopping their stirring or seasoning to dance with whoever was nearby.

Little Rafael, barely tall enough to see the top of the stove, being swooped around by his Abuela as she hummed a little tune.

Young Sonny, tall and lanky with uncoordinated limbs, being swept through the kitchen by his Nonna to the voice of Frank Sinatra.

These are memories both men have held on to, and through discussing random memories over the past six months together, they've discovered this is something they have in common.

Which is why Sonny makes Rafael dance with him so often.

Not so often, because they rarely even get a chance to cook at home anyway, but often enough that if Sonny doesn't try to dance with him, Rafael knows he's not in a good mood. That's when Sonny needs the dancing the most, followed by tiny kisses and a warm meal.

But tonight, Sonny is in a great mood. With a glass of wine already in him, and the company of the gorgeous ADA, he starts swaying his hips against Rafael before the water is even boiling.

Rafael chuckles when Sonny bumps his hips again. "Can you at least wait until I'm not standing over an open flame?"

Sonny grips Rafael's hips from behind and begins to sway, making Rafael follow his rhythm. "Can't stop these moves, Rafi," he says.

Rafael snorts. "Moves? That's what you call it?"

Sonny playfully bites his ear. Rafael laughs and jerks away, jostling the pan simmering on the stove.

"Sonny! Watch it!"

Sonny grins. "Dance with me and I'll leave you alone."

"I would like to eat tonight," Rafael replies, not pausing his stirring.

"We'll have plenty of time to eat. Come on, Rafi, please? We haven't had a chance in weeks."

With a sigh, Rafael sets down the spatula and turns around in Sonny's arms. "Five minutes while this finishes."

Sonny smiles happily and takes his phone out, finding a Spanish version of a Frank Sinatra song (a compromise between both worlds).

Sonny holds Rafael tight, practically lifting him off the ground because of their height difference. Sonny leads, because Rafael can both lead down follow but Sonny is strictly a leader.

The song ends and another begins by the same artist, but they don't care. They continue dancing sweetly in the kitchen, food heating on the stove, eyes closed and not a care in the world. It barely registers with either of them when a faint burning scent is clear through the room.

Rafael sighs. "And now our sauce is burnt."

Sonny smiles innocently. "I'm good with pizza."

Rafael side-eyes him. "Sometimes I think you do this so we can just order a pizza."

Sonny squeezes him tight and kisses his forehead. "And you fall for it anyway."

Rafael rolls his eyes.

Sonny kisses his lips, then lets Rafael go so he can order a pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is A Mi Manera, which is the Spanish version of Frank Sinatra's My Way. The version of A Mi Manera I like is by Gipsy Kings.


	6. Chapter 6

**18) Who talks to the other while they are sleeping?**

* * *

 

The way Sonny occupies every bit of Rafael's life scares him. Of course it does, anyone who's never really been in a serious relationship would be scared. He's afraid of how happy he is, how much he loves this man, how he can spend every moment of the day with him and not be tired of him. He prays to God that he'll never get tired of Sonny.

He's never said any of this out loud, of course. He's not crazy. Sonny would surely run out immediately, they haven't been together that long. Only a year; a year is nothing.

That's not true. A year is everything. This year has been everything.

Sonny sighs loudly in his sleep and Rafael stops his thoughts, as if the loudness of his emotions are going to wake Sonny. He's never felt this, the loudness. The constant screaming in his brain and his heart.

But the weird thing is that he can work around it. When it's necessary, like in court or in meetings, he's able to turn the loudness down. He always thought love was too distracting to worry about, but his love with Sonny is easily balanced with the rest of his life.

Rafael turns to face Sonny. He brushes sweaty hair off Sonny's forehead. Mouth hanging open a little bit, drool dripping out, eyelids twitching, Rafael thinks he's beautiful now. Sonny's never been so beautiful, Rafael's never felt so much love.

Telling Sonny would be disastrous, but while Sonny's lost in dreamland somewhere, Rafael feels safe. He just needs to get it out. Saying it out loud may calm him a bit.

"I've never felt this way before," he whispers. "I never thought I'd ever feel this way. But since I've met you, since we've been together, I can't imagine not having it. I can't imagine not having you, and I don't want to. I don't ever want to be without you.

"Te quiero mucho, Sonny. I love you so much."

Sleeping Sonny licks his lips and clears his throat. Rafael freezes in fear.

"Mmm..." Sonny sighs. "Love you too, baby."

Rafael let's out a shaky, relieved breath. That was a thick confession. If Sonny heard all of it. They've told each other they love each other before, only a few times, but never with a long declaration before it.

Sonny wraps a long arm around Rafael's waist. "Go to sleep," he mumbles.

Rafael just nods, pressing a quick kiss to Sonny's forehead before closing his eyes and joining Sonny in sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?**

* * *

 

It took them eleven months to have a real, true, honest to god fight. Now, they fight all the time, little spats about Sonny's cold feet and Rafael's 'I need the whole pot of coffee, Sonny!'

But at the eleven month mark, there was a real fight.

There were comments about Rafael's work, there were comments about Sonny's work, there were comments about not knowing what one sees in the other because the Latino one has an ice cold heart but the Italian one is a big dumb puppy and it's been three days and they haven't spoken. It was harsh. Sonny left Rafael's office fuming, red in the face, steam coming out of his ears. He slammed the door so hard a book fell off the book case.

They meet for the first time after three days at the precinct; they're working together on a case. It's strictly for work, even though it's tense and a little bit awkward for...everyone. Nobody was around when they fought in Rafael's office, but everyone knows they've had a fight.

Rafael's the one who asks for a second alone with Sonny. Sonny's the one who almost pukes walking into Benson's blessedly empty office.

Rafael jumps right in. "I don't think you're bad at your job, and I know exactly what I see in you."

"What about the thing about the puppy?"

"You are an oversized puppy, Sonny. That said, the dumb part was wrong."

"So this is an...apology."

"Yes. I'm apologizing. I don't wish to terminate our relationship. Also, I'm in love with you."

Sonny freezes in his pacing. "Wait--what?"

"I said I'm in love with you, as in I love you. I love everything about you, I've never loved anyone more. And I want to end this fight because it's stupid and I want you to sleep in my bed tonight."

Sonny grows a little grin on his face. "What if I want you in my bed?"

"I've said 'I love you' five times and you haven't said it at all, I'm completely freaking out, Sonny. From the stress of the past four minutes alone, I deserve to sleep on my own pillow tonight."

"You have an identical pillow at my place."

"Carisi!"

Sonny grabs him by the tie and yanks him forward. "I love you too, baby. Now gimme a kiss so I can get back to work."

Sonny only has to tug a little for Rafael to fall willingly to Sonny's waiting lips.

Sonny goes back to work with a giant smile, and Rafael goes back to work a little bit less scowl-y than usual.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**4) Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?**

* * *

 

Saturday's are usually chores or errands days for them, depending on if their Saturday is even free. Luckily, this Saturday it is, and Sonny's started early. Rafael's lounging on the couch with a giant cup of steaming coffee and a case file he needs to at least read through a few times, while Sonny wanders through the apartment doing random things.

And for some reason, Sonny keeps stripping every time he walks by. He started in sweatpants and a t-shirt, and now he's down to a pair of boxers while rushing back to the laundry room.

Rafael ignores him, because Sonny gets in these moods that things need to get done RIGHT NOW and there's no stopping him. He can't stop to ask Sonny why he's losing more and more clothes as the morning progresses, he just needs to let it happen.

Sonny returns from the laundry room without any underwear on. Rafael just stares as Sonny casually strolls through the house, his confident steps not lost because of how bare he is.

And if Rafael's staring at the man's ass, too, well, that's not his fault.

Sonny disappears into their bedroom for another fifteen minutes, and when he comes back he's still naked. Now he smells like bleach.

He plops down on the couch and takes a swig of Rafael's coffee.

"Ugh," Sonny mutters. "I don't know how you drink it like that. At least put a sugar or two in there."

Rafael just stares at him.

"What're we watchin'?" Sonny asks. "Remember when they used to show cartoons on Saturday mornings? Now we just got, like, College Football Gameday and no Flinstones."

Rafael still says nothing. The casualness of Sonny's nudity is confusing him.

"I cleaned the bathroom already. Pulled some more of your hair out of the drain. I swear to god, I think it's a Latino thing to lose hair like you do. I dated this girl from Mexico once and I'd find her thick black hairs all over me."

Rafael's eyes follow Sonny's hand as he nonchalantly scratches his hip. Like he needs to draw attention to his nakedness. And now Rafael is sufficiently distracted.

"Sonny?"

Sonny takes Rafael's mug again. "Yeah, Rafi?"

"Uhm, why are you naked?"

Sonny looks down at himself as if he's noticing this for the first time. "I'm doing laundry."

"And that means every bit of your clothing is being washed right now?"

"Well, no, but I got hot doing all the other stuff, and my eyes are up here, Rafi."

Rafael looks up. Sonny is smirking.

"Am I distracting you?"

"Yes, I need to finish reading this case file."

Sonny glances at the still closed file on the table. "Well don't let me get in your way. I'll stop talking."

Rafael kind of wants Sonny to get in his way at this point. They haven't been able to have morning sex in ages, even if the whole point of morning sex is to not get out of bed and have coffee before said sex occurs. It's still morning, it still counts.

"Ok. Thank you," Rafael says, because, with one more glance at Sonny's dick, it doesn't look like he's in the mood anyway.

But Sonny keeps drinking his coffee, Sonny keeps scratching and adjusting down there, and Sonny gets up for more coffee and walks directly in front of Rafael.

When Sonny comes back, he sets the coffee on the table before making his way to step over Rafael to his spot again. He gets one get over Rafael's before Rafael literally says, "Fuck it." and tosses the file aside to grab Sonny's hips and pull the naked man down on top of him.

"Why do you have to wander around naked as if it doesn't have an effect on me?" Rafael asks, sucking on Sonny's long neck until he moans.

"Sorry for thinkin' you had a little more self contr--ow!" Sonny pulls back when Rafael bites his bare shoulder.

"None, when it comes to you, mi amor," Rafael says, before flipping them so he's on top of Sonny.

Morning sex, on the couch, after they've both been awake for a while is not bad. It's still morning, it still counts.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**21) Who cuts the others hair?**

* * *

 

"Jesus, Rafi, I said not so much on that side. Now you gotta take more off the left."

Rafael rolls his eyes again. Why Sonny roped him in to cutting his hair is beyond Rafael, why he said yes is still a mystery. Probably because Sonny flashed those damn eyes at him and asked sweetly. He's got to learn to say no!

Especially for something so ridiculous. He mentioned once, like, a million years ago that his first job was at a hair salon (he swept up hair, for god's sake), and now here they are, in the kitchen, clippers going, and Sonny bitching again about Rafael's technique.

"You know what would work more efficiently, Sonny?" Rafael asks. "Going to a barber!"

"What, do I look like I got fifteen bucks to spare?"

"Dios mio," Rafael mutters. "What are you, eleven? I will give you fifteen dollars to go to a barber. In fact, I'll pay for you to go to mine."

"Nah, this is working just fine."

Sonny holds the mirror up again as Rafael takes the clippers to his head.

"Rafael!" Sonny sighs, scaring Rafael.

Luckily, Rafael gets the clippers away and doesn't take off part of his hair.

"God damn it, Sonny!"

"Well, be more careful!"

"I'm just going to shave your head."

"You won't."

"All of it."

"Don't even joke."

"All of your beautiful hair. Say goodbye to your perfect coif."

Sonny glares at him. Rafael grins.

"Then quit your bitching. You asked for this."

Sonny pouts. "Not funny."

Rafael kisses the back of his neck. "I'm saying no next time."

"No you won't."

He's right, Rafael probably will not say no.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I count down the days to the Fashion Show. Let's pretend Carisi does, too.  
> Also the Fashion Show didn't air on television until the late 90's, so let's also pretend it's been aired on television since Sonny was a kid. Ok?! Thank you. Love you.

**X) Who is the one who wants to watch the VS Fashion Show?**

* * *

 

Rafael thought Sonny was weirdly excited for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show to air on television. It wouldn't have even registered to Rafael that it was on had Sonny not been practically counting down the days. It's not like the man's ever shown interest in Victoria's Secret before.

So on that Monday night, Sonny hunkered down in front of the television with a bowl of pretzels and a beer.

Rafael sat next to him with a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was it jealousy? It was jealousy. Sonny's never shown interest in another person while they've been dating. If Sonny is watching this because he's attracted to these girls, well that doesn't sit well with him.

"Paris is so beautiful," Sonny comments when the introduction starts. "Wouldn't you want to go someday? Who am I kidding, you've probably already been. Have you been?"

Rafael just shrugs. He doesn't feel like having conversation right now.

And that's fine because when the show actually starts, Sonny stops talking and watches enthralled.

Finally, Rafael can't take it. He gets up and excuses himself.

"I'm going to my office to do some work," he grumbles.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Sonny asks.

"I just don't want to be in here while you're...I don't know, ogling a bunch of models half my age."

"Ogling?"

"Well why else are you watching it, Sonny? You're a grown man."

Sonny shuts the television off and sinks into the couch, clearly embarrassed. "I...I just like it ok? I'm not trying to be a perv or anything, I just...I don't know. My sister and I used to count down to it every year, like we'd have an advent calendar for the show. And then we'd get our popcorn and candy ready and watch it after my parents went upstairs for the night."

Rafael still doesn't really understand. He lifts an eyebrow to prompt Sonny to keep talking.

Sonny continues, "We'd steal my big sister's bras and bathing suites and have our own fashion shows, we'd even make our own wings when the costume angel wings got boring. One year at school we had to do this project out of trash art and I made wings, but of course I couldn't say they were because the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. That wouldn't go well in Catholic school."

Rafael cracks a smile at the image. "So you'd strut around in Mommy's heels and everything?"

"Well duh, an Angel's not complete without their heels. When I was twelve I could walk better in heels than my older sisters could."

Rafael laughs. "So it's not an attraction thing?"

"No, Rafi, it's not an attraction thing. It's just...something my sisters and I would do. My big sisters started dressing me up long before I had a say. Finally one day I just started doing it myself. The acceptance my parents had of me dressing up helped when I came out."

Rafael feels much more calm about the whole thing. He loves Sonny, loves all his quirks and the things that make him Sonny Carisi. He kisses Sonny.

"Thank you for sharing that with me."

"Thanks for not laughing in my face. I'd only shared that with one person before you."

"And they didn't take it well?"

"No, the opposite. She let me wear her underwear."

Rafael laughs, imaging Sonny wearing lacey Victoria's Secret panties under his traffic cop uniform. It's kind of sexy. He kisses Sonny again.

"Come on, I'll watch with you, then."

Sonny smiles widely, lighting up in his whole face. "Awesome."

They settle on the couch again. After a while, Rafael gets an idea. He pulls his phone out and starts a group text with Sonny's sisters asking for a photo of little Sonny as a Victoria's Secret Angel. They come through with about a dozen photos, and Rafael just admires knowing this secret Sonny keeps.


	11. Chapter 11

**16) Who is more seductive when they are drunk?**

* * *

 

Finn and Rollins have been watching them for at least two hours, but it seems like much longer. Like a car wreck on a packed street, it's something you just can't look away from. You are curious; you want to know what's going on. At the same time, it's not really something you should be staring at so intently.

It's not like the two men notice anybody watching, and it's not like anybody else is watching except Finn and Rollins.

Carisi leans against the pool stick he's holding, swaying way into Barba's personal space. But Barba is not backing down or pushing Carisi away, in fact he is also leaning in to Carisi. Throughout the whole night, they've been getting closer and closer and flirting more and more. More touching, more blushing, more grinning, more longing gazes.

"I swear, they look like they're gonna eat each other," Rollins mutters, sipping her beer.

Finn looks like he doesn't want to comment, he doesn't want to be watching, but he can't help it.

"You think they're sleeping together?" Rollins asks.

"If they're not already, I'd say it's pretty close."

"There's no way they can be staring at each other with such blatant bedroom eyes and not sleeping together."

"Why haven't they said anything, then? They're still acting like normal Barba and Carisi at work."

"Barba probably made Carisi swear not to tell."

"Come on--"

"I bet you!"

Finn lifts an eyebrow.

Rollins chuckles. "Ok, poor choice of words. But seriously, next round. I bet they've been seeing each other a while."

Finn eyes her. Finally, he gives in. "Alright, you're on."

They resume watching the two at the pool table, completely plastered and drooling over each other. At one point, Carisi's backs Barba against the table and leans in so close that Finn and Rollins hold their breath, expecting a kiss, but they don't. Carisi just glances at Barba's lips and pulls away. Jesus, there's so much sexual tension in the bar that Rollins and Finn feel like they're watching the beginnings of a poorly made adult film.

"So how are we gonna find out if they're doin' it?" Rollins finally asks.

Finn shrugs. "You think Liv would know?"

"You think she'd tell us?"

"True."

They silently drink while Carisi and Barba dance around each other at the pool table. They're hardly even playing pool anymore, they're just flirting at each other like it's a competition.

"I bet they kiss soon," Finn mutters.

Rollins looks at her watch. "I give it twenty minutes."

"Ten," Finn replies.

Five minutes pass, and the two men have gotten impossibly closer. They're pretty much pressed right up against each other, talking in the other's face, eyes heavy lidded with longing.

"Have you ever seen Barba smile this much?" Rollins comments. "Either way, they both look crazy happy."

"You know, I hope they are together. They deserve someone."

"Agreed," Rollins says.

Finally, finally! Carisi appears to gain some confidence and kisses Barba first. It's a short kiss, sweet and slow. From the bar feet away, Rollins and Finn cheer.

This causes Barba to pull away quickly, his face a deep shade of red. Carisi just grins widely.

"You owe me a drink," Finn says, turning back to the bar.

"Yeah, yeah," Rollins mumbles, slapping bills on the counter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed a few days, I got sick. I'll make up for it this weekend!


	12. Chapter 12

**5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?**

* * *

 

Sometimes Sonny wishes he hadn't moved in, and this is the only reason. He's so pissed off, so angry that he wishes if he stormed out he would have somewhere to go. Unfortunately, he has nowhere to go except his own living room.

It's a dumb fight, Sonny knows it's a dumb fight, he knows in a week he won't even remember what they fought about it. But for now he's so pissed that he doesn't even want to be near Rafael.

"Listen, it's late," Rafael says, rubbing his eyes. "Let's just go to bed and we'll talk about this tomorrow."

Sonny steps back towards the couch. "Fine."

Rafael pauses. "Aren't you coming?"

Sonny sits on the couch. "No."

Rafael deflates. "Sonny, come on--"

"I don't even want to be near you right now. I'm just going to stay out here."

"You know what? Fine."

Rafael disappears into their bedroom and Sonny settles on the couch. He takes his pants and shirt off, wishing he'd at least gotten some pajamas because the living room is cold, but he gets a blanket from the hall closet and feels better.

Sonny tosses and turns on the couch, wishing he'd chosen the bed. He's lived here for eight months, pretty much longer because of all the time he spent there before moving in. Rafael has made him feel at home, very at home, and since he's started paying a few bills, it's definitely his house too. So he had the right to choose the bed. It's his house.

With a groan, he flops one more time on the couch and closes his eyes, willing himself to sleep.

But it doesn't work, he can't fall asleep. It's ridiculous, but he feels like he needs Rafael by his side, or Rafael's arms wrapped around him. He hasn't kissed Rafael at all today, and as ridiculous as that sounds, he needs it.

But he is not going to go in his bedroom to beg. He is not going to beg for a freakin' goodnight kiss. He is not going to beg Rafael to tell him he loves him, to tell him everything will feel better in the morning. He is not going to beg for a spot on the bed because he can't sleep without his grumpy lawyer.

The bedroom door clicks open quietly. Sonny quickly shuts his eyes and pretends to be asleep.

Footsteps tiptoe down the hall and to the living room. Sonny assumes he's going to bypass the living room and go to the kitchen for something, but soon Rafael stops in front of the couch.

"Sonny?" he whispers, hopeful.

"What?" Sonny grumbles, not opening his eyes.

"I can't sleep."

"So?"

Sonny knows Rafael is rolling his eyes.

"Can I sleep out here with you?"

Sonny wants to smile, he wasn't the one that gave in this time, he didn't have to beg Rafael.

"I don't think there's enough room for the two of us."

"Oh...ok..."

Sonny hears Rafael's feet move across the living room again. His heart aches. He feels guilty. Rafael asked, Rafael came to him. And he really wants Rafael. He hasn't kissed Rafael at all today.

Sonny sighs. "Rafael?"

Rafael's footsteps stop. "Yes?"

Sonny pushes himself against the back of the couch and pats the space he's created. "C'mere."

Rafael's footsteps quicken to the couch. In seconds, he's dropping down on the couch and burrowing himself against Sonny.

They're quiet, but Sonny is content. Still mad but content, like he can finally fall asleep. And maybe he can. His eyes drift closed.

"Hey Sonny, can I kiss you?"

There Rafael goes again, asking first. And who is Sonny to say no? Especially when he wants so badly to kiss Rafael goodnight.

"I guess," he mutters unenthusiastically.

But Rafael obviously doesn't mind because he just grips the back of Sonny's head and pulls him for a deep kiss. He skips the sweetness and goes straight to sticking his tongue down Sonny's throat. Sonny squeaks in shock but tries to keep up.

Rafael pulls away first, but Sonny is dazed and chases Rafael's lips.

"Goodnight, Sonny. I love you."

"Yeah," Sonny clears his throat. "Love you, too."

* * *

 

When Sonny wakes up, the room is too bright and he's all sticky with sweat from being completely mashed against Rafael all night. Plus, with Rafael's lips and tongue against his neck, the heat is a little something else, too.

Sonny just hums contently and wraps an arm tighter around Rafael, pulling him closer.

"Are you still mad?" Rafael asks between kisses.

"Trying not to think about it," Sonny mumbles, eyes still shut and head back.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Just..." Sonny sighs breathlessly. "Keep going."

Rafael's hand travels down Sonny's neck, down his chest, down his stomach, into his underwear.

Sonny's anger is easily being forgotten. With Rafael's breath hot against his neck, Rafael moaning in his ear, Rafael's tongue searing his skin, Rafael's hand wrapped around his dick. Angry? What was he even angry at?

He finishes in no time at all, squeezing Rafael tight. Rafael wipes his hand on Sonny's boxers and sits up on the couch. Sonny opens his eyes for the first time to Rafael's bare back stretching in the sun streaming through the window.

"God, Sonny," Rafael says. "I can't sleep on the couch anymore. I'm an old man."

Sonny chuckles and rubs his eyes. "Nobody said you had to follow me out here."

Rafael stands. Sonny follows him up.

"All 'cause you missed me," Sonny comments.

Rafael grins. "Shut up."

"All 'cause you couldn't sleep without me."

He follows Rafael into the bedroom.

"I don't think you were sleeping without me, either."

Sonny grabs him before he can disappear into the bathroom. He wraps his long arms around Rafael's neck and holds him close. "I did miss you, I couldn't sleep without you, and I love you. I'm sorry about yesterday."

"Do you feel better?" Rafael asks.

Sonny nods, his nose rubbing against Rafael's.

"Good," Rafael says. "Let's take a shower and go out for breakfast."

Sonny kisses him, then they get in the shower and resume their day. 


	13. Chapter 13

"Alright," Sonny announces, clicking his computer off and standing briskly. "I gotta go."

Rollins and Amaro watch him closely.

"Takin' off pretty quick, Carisi. You got somewhere to be?" Amaro asks.

Sonny pulls on his scarf; usually he wouldn't bother putting it on but Rafael got it for him, and well, Rafael is right there.

"Uhm..." is all Sonny can get out while Rollins and Amaro both get out of their desks to circle his. He feels like he's being interrogated.

It's been three weeks since he and Rafael disclosed their relationship and came out publicly. Everyone knew about it before, but now it's official and Rollins and Amaro think they're allowed to discuss it at work because it's out in the open. It's still unprofessional, but for now Sonny just accepts it because at least they're not, like, teasing him for being with a guy or anything. Just teasing him because it's Barba.

Plus, it's not a constant joke. It's usually just when it's late in the evening and nobody else is really paying attention. There will just be little quips here and there. Like:

_"What, Barba doesn't like when you're late?"_

_"Did Barba pick out that tie for you?"_

_"Does Barba know you're snacking so close to dinner?"_

Sonny just rolls his eyes. The attention will die down soon enough.

But now he knows he's in for maximum teasing because Rafael is within earshot. He notices Amaro and Rollins exchange a look and glance at Rafael to see if he is listening.

"You got a date, Carisi?" Rollins teases.

Sonny grins, he can play along too. "Yeah, maybe."

"What kind of guy do you think Carisi likes to date, Rollins?" Amaro asks.

Sonny smiles to himself at the nonchalant mentioning of Sonny dating a guy. He's never felt so accepted with a group. Even his mother practically whispers 'boyfriend' when asking about Rafael.

"I bet he likes a man who has an expensive taste," Rollins says.

"Yeah? Probably a guy who wears ties that cost more than our salaries?"

They all glance at Rafael to see if he's noticed. He hasn't seemed to, so they continue.

"I bet he likes a smart-ass guy."

"A guy who will not let you forget about night school?"

Sonny rolls his eyes.

"A guy who will remind you how refined he is?"

"A guy with an attitude?"

Rafael still isn't paying any attention to them, but a minute later Benson comes out of her office.

"What are you all doing just standing around?"

Amaro addresses her first. "Oh, Carisi's got a date and we were just speculating what kind of guy we think he likes."

Benson catches on quickly because she too checks to see if Rafael is listening.

"I bet he likes short guys."

With that last one, Rafael drops his pen on the table and finally looks up at them. "Ok! Ok! I can hear you! You happy now?"

Everyone breaks into laughter as Rafael just rolls his eyes and resumes writing. Benson goes back into her office and leaves the other three still at Sonny's desk.

"If you have a date, why are you leaving and he's still working?" Rollins asks when the laughter dies down.

"I'm cooking," Sonny admits. "I wanna get started before he gets home."

"Gotta get home to get dinner on the table," Amaro says, "Didn't peg you for a June Cleaver, Carisi."

"Ha-ha. That's what happens when you love someone, Amaro."

"How cute, Carisi."

"I think it is nice," Rollins tells him. "Good for you, Carisi."

"Thanks. Now if you'll excuse me."

Rollins and Amaro let him leave. He gets almost to the elevator before he hears, "Something caught your eye, Barba?" "Shut up, Amaro."

Sonny just smiles happily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was not prompted, it was just a silly idea I had. Apparently Amaro is still in my world, excuse me. 
> 
> I'm accepting prompts if anyone has anything they'd like to see! Word prompts, sentence prompts, quote prompts. I'm open to ideas.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos. 100 kudos! I'm super excited about that, thank you. Thank you for reading. Let me know how you're liking it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one! 
> 
> Yeah, today is Day 15 of Advent so I'm behind. So here's another!

**8) Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts?**

* * *

 

It's another Saturday at home. Sonny's dashing around, disrobing as he goes, but it's surprisingly cold in the apartment. Plus, there's no need for morning sex so late in the morning, so when he comes back into the living room, he's got on a sweatshirt.

Not just any sweatshirt, he's got on his favorite sweatshirt.

Rafael rolls his eyes at the younger man. It's Rafael's sweatshirt, which means the old red Harvard hoodie is so worn out it's hem is unraveling and it's got a hole in the armpit. It also means it's too short for Sonny; Rafael can see the hairs on his lower belly that disappear below his boxers.

Rafael bites his lip and wants to follow the trail. He stares at Sonny rinsing dishes and bending to put them in the dishwasher. The sweatshirt rides up his lower back.

He watches Sonny until he's done and moves on to cleaning out the fridge. Unfortunately, there is no sweatshirt shifting during this chore. So Rafael makes one up.

He opens the cabinet nearest him. "Hey Sonny, can you get a glass for me?"

Sonny looks at Rafael.

"I can't reach," Rafael adds.

"And there's something wrong with the glasses on the bottom shelf?"

Rafael nods.

Sonny shrugs. "Alright," he mutters, stepping over to Rafael and reaching up to grab a glass.

Rafael looks down at his stomach, his belly button peaking out from under the garment.

Rafael wants to lick.

"This one okay?" Sonny asks.

"No, a bigger one."

Sonny sighs and reaches up again, replacing the small glass he had grabbed for a bigger one.

"How's that?" Sonny asks next.

Rafael thanks him and let's Sonny resume cleaning out the fridge.

Rafael thinks about something else for Sonny to do for him, but luckily Sonny finishes and announces he's going to dust the bookshelf. Where he's gotta stretch to reach the top few shelves.

Rafael parks himself on the couch and watches. Sonny doesn't seem bothered.

That is, until he mumbles, "Enjoying the view?"

Rafael tears his eyes away from Sonny's ass and looks up at his face. Sonny's got the cockiest grin across his lips.

"I, uh...that is--"

"Hey, I don't mind," Sonny says, getting back to work. "I can take it off, if you want."

He steps over to Rafael, standing over him and gripping the bottom of the sweatshirt to take it off.

"No, no," Rafael stops him.

Sonny just chuckles and goes back to the bookshelf. Rafael just continues watching him.


	15. Chapter 15

**10) Who is more likely to cheat?**

* * *

 

Rafael slams back the last half of his scotch in one gulp. He glares down the bar, at Sonny laughing with Rollins. Away from him. Far away from him.

When Rafael had said, "We need to maintain a distance at work and with colleagues to not draw attention to our personal lives." He did not mean, "Flirt with Rollins while we all at a bar together." In fact, he'd never mean that.

And he's about two second away from physically yanking Sonny away from her.

Rollins. Of all the people Sonny could be flirting with, he chooses Rollins.

Olivia joins Rafael at the bar again. He hardly notices though, because he's still staring daggers at Detective Rollins. Or Sonny. Whoever the dagger hits first. He doesn't have great aim.

"You ok?" Olivia asks, sliding onto the stool next to him.

"They're quite chummy aren't they?"

"Who says 'chummy'?"

He shifts his glare to her.

She chuckles. "Ok, ok. But Rollins and Carisi? Are you jealous?"

Rafael snorts. "Jealous? Me? Jealous? What on earth would I ever be jealous of?"

"Come on, I can't be the one to tell you you've got a crush on Carisi."

Rafael chokes on his fresh drink. "What?!"

"I don't blame you, I guess," Olivia says, looking over at Carisi. "I can see his appeal."

Rafael curses himself for being caught apparently pining over Sonny. "I do not have a crush."

"Well," Olivia pats his shoulder. "I need to get home. If they're going to bother you so much, make a move."

Rafael waves her off and finishes his drink, ignoring the two detectives down the bar. Once he's done, he closes his tab and exits the bar to head home.

As soon as he steps through his front door, his phone rings. With a roll of his eyes, he answers.

"Hello?"

"Raf? Hey."

"Carisi."

"Why'd you leave?"

 _Why did it take you so long to notice?_ Rafael wants to ask, but bites his tongue.

"It's late," he says instead.

"Oh...so you don't want me to come by? It's too late?"

He does want Sonny to come over, but he's upset. He's annoyed.

"I don't feel like it tonight."

They've been seeing each other for six weeks, and Rafael's never told Sonny no. Sonny's even spent the night a few times.

"You don't f--" Sonny sighs. "Ok. Alright, yeah. Are you ok? Are you feeling alright?"

Rafael wanders into his room and starts getting ready for bed. "I'm fine, Carisi."

"Carisi? You haven't called me Carisi in weeks. Now I know something's wrong. What'd I do?"

Telling Sonny he wasn't paying enough attention to Rafael is childish. So he just mumbles that everything is fine.

"Ok, I won't fight you. Have a good night, then."

Sonny hangs up before Rafael can reply, which makes him impossibly more angry. He types out a quick and immature text, "I felt uncomfortable with your blatant flirtatious behavior with Rollins." Then sets his phone on the sink so he can brush his teeth. He leaves the chat open to see Sonny reply, but the three little dots disappear and reappear over and over.

Finally, Sonny calls.

"Yes?"

"It was stupid to try to reply to that, we're not in high school. We can have a conversation."

"There's nothing to talk about, Sonny. I didn't like that you were flirting with Rollins."

"I wasn't--" Sonny takes a deep breath. "You told me to maintain a distance."

"I didn't mean completely ignore me to, I repeat, flirt with Rollins."

"Will you stop saying that? I was not flirting with Rollins, of all people. She's my coworker."

"I'm your coworker."

Sonny sighs again. "Look, I'm...I'm like four blocks away, can I just come up? We can talk."

Rafael really doesn't feel like it, he doesn't feel like talking or whatever with Sonny. But he figures it'd be better to talk about this before it really starts to bother him.

"I guess."

"See you in a second."

Sonny hangs up and about ten minutes later, Rafael is buzzing him up.

Sonny hurries into the apartment and doesn't even take off his coat. Rafael thinks he isn't going to stay.

"Ok, what the hell, Raf? You tell me to keep a distance and then you're mad at me for talking to my friend. To my partner. What do you want from me?"

Rafael rubs his eyes. "Look, I just...I've never done very well with competition, or...jealousy, I guess. Usually when there comes a sign that my partner may be looking elsewhere, I just end it."

"Looking elsewhere? What are you talking about? Rafael, seriously, come on. You really think I'm interested in Rollins?"

"Well--"

"Trust me, if there was ever gonna be anything between me and Rollins, it would've happened by now."

"Then...nothing's ever gone on between you two?"

"Are you kiddin'? Pretty much since I started SVU, I've been crazy about you. She knows that, everyone knows that."

"They do?"

"Yeah, everyone thinks I gotta crush on you."

Rafael cracks a smile. He's not the only one, then.

"And you don't think I've gotta get over my jealousy issues towards you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, cocky man like you, you've never noticed the attention you hold in a room? All the women and men fawning all over you all the time? We can't go to a regular restaurant without some dweeby waiter saying, 'Aw, Mr. Barba, we've missed you. Who's your friend?' Whatever, Waiter Daniel, you've seen me before."

Rafael wants to laugh at how ridiculously absurd this is. Sonny jealous? Is he kidding just to make Rafael feel better? Or worse?

"Are you kidding just to make me feel differently about this?"

"No!" Sonny cries. "I'm not kidding! People throw themselves at you all the time! And what do I do?"

"Uhm..."

"I kiss you like I freakin' mean it. I wait patiently for dinner to end so I can be the one to walk you home. So I can be the one to text you goodnight, text you the next day asking how you're feeling. If I'm lucky, I'm the one who can wake up next to you. Because, Raf, I've been waiting for you for so long that I am not fucking this up by letting my jealousy get the best of me."

It's been six weeks. It's too soon for the grand pronouncements. It's too soon for any of this. It's too soon for Rafael to get a little misty eyed. But it's not too soon, he's been crazy about Sonny just as long. He's been waiting for Sonny just as long; his whole life, in fact. Just waiting for the hole in his heart to be filled by a thirtysomething year old cop from Staten Island who loves baseball and grows terrible facial hair.

"Please don't be jealous of my friendship with Rollins, Rafael. I'm here with you."

Rafael slowly nods. "Ok. I'm sorry."

Sonny just gives him a small smile, then envelopes Rafael in his giant arms.

Rafael still doesn't feel up for doing anything with Sonny, but he wants to be close to Sonny. He doesn't want Sonny to go home, but it's late.

"Alright," Sonny says, kissing the side of his head. "I'll get outta your hair. Call me tomorrow, ok? Please? Let's get lunch."

Rafael takes Sonny's hand. "Actually--"

"Oh...yeah, I mean, we don't have to. If you don't want to."

"No, that's not what I was--" Rafael pulls his hand to make him step closer. "Want to sleep over?"

"I'm not really up for--"

"Just sleep."

"Oh." Sonny smiles. "Yeah."

Rafael smiles back, then drags him into the bedroom to go to sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is more likely to cheat, they ask. Neither! Are you crazy?!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ThatOCLady prompted enacting gay porn...this is probably not what you had in mind...but...this was what my mind went to...

"Yeah baby, like that." Sonny rolls his hips against Rafael's hand, a string of moans falling from his lips.

Rafael loves how vocal Sonny is in bed, or on the couch, in this instance. They've been sleeping together about six months and Rafael hopes Sonny never loses this enthusiasm.

"Mmmm..." Sonny sighs, "Yeah...I want you to give it to me good."

The talking is fine, too. Usually Sonny's a begging and pleading mess about halfway through, but sometimes--

"You know how to do me good, Rafael..."

Sonny's talking and attempt at dirty talk doesn't bother him, it's just...funny. It's so cliched, sometimes it's so bad.

"Did you...hear that somewhere or are you making this shit up?"

Sonny blushes, embarrassed. "I...may have heard it somewhere."

"You were watching bad porn again, weren't you?"

"Well! You weren't here and, and--"

Rafael laughs. "Sonny, its fine." He leans in and kisses the younger man again. "What else did the video teach you?"

"That if I need to repay you for something and have no funds, blowing you would be adequate payment."

Rafael thinks that one over. "Is it just me, or is that a little bit sexy?"

Sonny chuckles and kisses Rafael's neck, rubbing his crotch against Rafael's hip.

"I can play along," Rafael says, mumbling in Sonny's ear. "Yeah, big boy, show me what you're packin'."

Sonny's head snaps up to look at Rafael's face. "I think we must'a been watching the same video."

Rafael laughs. "What if I put a tie back on and you play the consenting college student looking for a good grade and someone experienced to teach you a little something?"

Sonny hums. "What if I run out and grab a pizza and you misplace your wallet, along with your underwear?"

"What if you swing by to fix my pipes and my--"

"Why do I gotta be the plumber?"

"Do you think I know how to hold tools, Sonny?"

Sonny grins. "I got a tool for you to hold."

"Attaboy," Rafael says, smiling into a kiss.

A minute later, Sonny shifts to start pushing Rafael back against the couch. He climbs on top of Rafael, thighs on either side of his hips. Sonny still sits up and rips off his shirt. After he drops it to the floor, he gets to work on the buttons of Rafael's.

"How 'bout I play colleague with a crush who wants nothing more than to bend you over a courtroom table and make you scream my name?"

"Or...what if I play man who wants to be handcuffed by his cop boyfriend?"

Sonny pauses. "Wait, really?"

Rafael sits up so they're chest to chest. He licks at Sonny's neck. And whispers in his ear.

"You can be the sexy young cop and, I don't know, I could probably use a punishment."

Sonny groans, breathless. His hips rotate against Rafael's. "Have you been bad, counselor?"

"I don't know, officer, what's the offense?"

"Uh...you didn't...wash the dishes yesterday."

Rafael pulls away to look up at Sonny. "Really? That's the best you could come up with?"

"Shut up," Sonny says, pressing their lips together and pushing Rafael back against the couch in one motion.

They don't get to the handcuffs, not that night, but the cliche porn scenarios did provide some interesting ideas.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flowerpower0809 asked for Rafael being ill and Sonny taking care of him, also Rafael would definitely be a huge baby about it. Hope you enjoy!

Rafael is sure he is dying. Absolutely sure today is his last day on earth. This is it.

At least he's spending it with Sonny, who won't leave him alone and stop pestering him for two seconds so he can let death come.

Sonny is trying so hard to be helpful, but he seriously just won't leave Rafael alone. There's a line between being helpful and being annoying.

"You ok, baby? You need something?"

"No," Rafael grumbles, yanking the blanket up to his chin again because he's cold now. Literally four seconds ago he was too hot. Death can't come soon enough.

"Just leave me here to die," Rafael adds.

"You're not going to die."

"I am going to die. My insides are falling out, I think my brain is going to go next."

Sonny rolls his eyes. "That's a lotta stuff to fall out," he comments.

Rafael raises an eyebrow.

"You gotta big brain, Rafi."

Rafael cracks a little smile for the first time in days. It's tiny though, practically unnoticeable.

Sonny doesn't notice. Sonny just runs to the kitchen to grab another bottle of Gatorade for Rafael.

That's all Sonny's been doing the past few days, running places to grab more of something. More Gatorade, more water, more toast, more crackers, more stomach soothing medicine, more pillows, more blankets. All Rafael wants is for him to sit down, or even leave the apartment, so Rafael can die in peace.

"I don't want another bottle of Gatorade, Sonny. I want to die in peace."

"Why do you think you can get rid of me, huh? You think I'm just going to leave you here when you look like that? Also, I live here. Where am I supposed to go?"

"Anywhere," Rafael mumbles.

Sonny sighs. "Look, you really want me to get outta your hair? Fine, I'll go."

Sonny gets off the couch and goes to the bedroom. Rafael takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

He hears Sonny come back a second later. Now he's wearing jeans and has shoes on.

"I'll be back," Sonny mutters, grabbing his keys off the entry table.

Wait...Sonny wasn't supposed to actually leave. Rafael doesn't want him to actually go. He just wants Sonny to stop fussing over him. Stomach flus pass, but Sonny's the one acting like Rafael is dying.

"Wait, Son--" is all Rafael gets out before the door slams shut.

Well, great. Now Rafael feels nauseas and guilty. And nauseas because he feels guilty. He wants to call Sonny, ask him to come back, but his phone is all the way in the kitchen. And his legs are wobbly. And Sonny is not here to get it for him.

But the apartment is peaceful, and he's finally alone, so sleep wins out only minutes after Sonny leaves.

* * *

 

When his eyes open again, the apartment is dark but for the light glowing from the kitchen behind him.

He feels groggy as hell but no longer nauseas, finally for the first time in days.

Sonny's big footsteps come towards him on the couch.

"Hey Rafi," he says softly.

Rafael grumbles and sits up, stretching and rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Past 8," Sonny says.

Rafael sits on the edge of the couch rubbing his eyes. "I...meant to call you, but my phone--"

Sonny sits on the coffee table across from him. "I know, I should'a known you weren't gonna get up to get it. I came right home anyway, felt bad about leaving you here to die alone." He smiles. "I'm sorry I've been annoying."

"No, no," Rafael says. "I've been grouchy--"

Sonny lifts an eyebrow.

"Ok, grouchier than usual. I know. You just don't need to fuss over me this much, okay? I'm okay."

"I just worry about you, Rafi, you know that."

"I know. I'll try not to be so grouchy with you when you're trying to be helpful."

"I'll try not to be...so helpful."

Rafael smiles. "You have been great, ok? I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too."

Sonny leans forward to kiss Rafael, but grimaces and pulls back.

"Sorry, I'm just gonna not."

Rafael laughs. He gets up to follow Sonny to the kitchen where he's served soup and crackers, even though Sonny just said he'd try to be less helpful.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?**

* * *

 

Sonny hums almost constantly. Not at work, not usually, but if he's relaxed and his brain is offline, he's humming. For a while Rafael thought that was just how he exhaled.

He's cooking in the kitchen, spaghetti tonight because it's easy and they're tired. And he's humming, as usual. Rafael hardly even hears it anymore, it doesn't even register. It's just a sound constantly heard through the apartment.

It's become such a second nature that Rafael will randomly get songs stuck in his head and wonder where the hell it came from, why he thought of that song, and then realize Sonny was humming it like a week ago.

And sometimes he'll be getting some work done on the kitchen table while Sonny is cooking, like now, and he'll randomly start singing 'Baby, It's Cold Outside.'

Rafael keeps losing his train of thought because the lyrics keep popping into his head instead.

"How lucky that you dropped in..."

From the kitchen, Sonny mumbles, "So nice and warm..."

"Look out the window at this dawn..."

There's a second of pause when Sonny runs into the pantry and Rafael quickly writes out a paragraph. But then Sonny returns and resumes.

"My sister will be suspicious..."

"Gosh your lips look delicious..."

"My brother will be there at the door..."

"Waves upon the tropical shore..."

Finally, Rafael notices that he's even singing. He sets his pen down and looks at Sonny, all cute and warm in a Mets hoodie. His head is bopping and he's still humming, repeating the same line because Rafael had stopped. He doesn't seem to notice they're in a duet, either.

Rafael smiles and gets off his chair to go to the kitchen. He decides to help, so he gets out the salad vegetables and starts to get it ready.

He keeps singing with Sonny.

"My maiden aunts mind is vicious..."

"Gosh your lips are delicious..."

"But maybe just a cigarette more..."

"Never such blizzard before..."

Sonny seems to notice Rafael is singing, too. He grins at Rafael and starts to sing louder and more confidently.

They sing and dance in the kitchen, laughing and kissing every few lines because how can they not kiss the other man they enjoy so much?

Rafael finishes their salad and pours two glasses of wine, then steps behind Sonny and wraps his arms around Sonny's waist.

"I love you, you know that?" he asks, pressing kisses to the back of Sonny's neck.

"I had my suspicions."

Rafael laughs.

"You should sing to me more," Sonny tells him.

"Yeah, right. I only do it unnoticed as it is. It's because you're a walking jukebox."

"What's a jukebox?"

Rafael pinches him. "Shut up, you're not that young."

Sonny laughs. "And you're not that old."

Rafael smiles. "What's next on the playlist inside your head?"

"I've got White Christmas or Wonderful Christmastime."

"I can do Paul McCartney."

Sonny starts to hum. The rest of the evening is spent laughing and singing, and fun is had by all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney is my favorite Christmas song. I couldn't not mention it this advent calendar. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! 
> 
> If you've got a prompt or idea, I'd love to hear it!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Linhaa prompted the squad finding out how in love Rafael and Sonny are because of an emergency the squad encounters. Thanks for the prompt! Hope this is something you had in mind.
> 
> Olivia's POV.

It's been a long night. The team is on a bust-well they're waiting to be on a bust. Right now they're on a stake out waiting for whoever to show up, and it's been hours.

Olivia is back at the precinct with Rafael, it's almost midnight, and they're bored.

At least when the guy shows up it'll get exciting. They planned for a few officers to have a live feed on their body camera so Olivia and Rafael can watch.

But for now they're both twiddling away on their phones and trying to stay awake.

Their conversation had dwindled about an hour ago and Olivia's been trying to think of a way to grill Rafael on Carisi this entire silent time.

Of course she knows there's something going on between them, she's not stupid. She has eyes. She can see the way they flirt subtly, the way Carisi jumps up when she needs him to run to the ADA's office, the way Rafael will check Carisi out.

There's got to be something happening, or about to happen.

But she knows Rafael. She knows Carisi isn't really his type, not in the long run. There's no way Rafael would ever accompany Carisi to a baseball game, and he wouldn't play video games with Carisi, and pizza isn't a common part of his palate. But Carisi is cute, and that's Rafael's short term, 'we're just having sex' type. He's exactly Rafael's 'blowing off some steam' type.

Olivia at least wants Rafael to admit it. He doesn't need to spill his heart out, because Olivia is sure there's nothing in his heart about Carisi, she just kind of wants the details.

It's abnormal that Rafael hasn't told her they're sleeping together. It's probably just because Carisi works for her, otherwise she would've heard about it within the first week of their endeavor. Because of this she can't pinpoint how long it's gone on.

Curiosity is getting the better of her, and she's about to ask but her radio sounds.

"Boss, we're going in."

It was Carisi. Rafael doesn't even look up from his phone. Damn, he is trained well. The first few months she was with Tucker, anytime she even heard his name she'd at least start paying attention. Rafael must really not be attached to not even notice the other man's voice.

Olivia turns on the television so they can see the live feed. The officers make their way through a dark building, guns drawn, vests on. Olivia is nervous for them, keeping faith that everything will be fine, but Rafael is unaffected. He just watches with a straight face, even when Carisi pops on the screen.

Olivia kind of wants to ask if he cares at all, Carisi is in a dangerous situation and he's watching live completely uncaring. Oh well, Olivia thinks, she can worry enough for the both of them.

Minutes pass with nothing. The officers check all the rooms and find nothing.

Ten minutes pass; nothing.

The screen shows an unnamed officer approach a door, Carisi behind him, and the third officer with the camera behind him. The first officer turns into a doorway and immediately pauses.

"Police, put the gun down!" he yells.

"Gun? Shit," Olivia mutters.

Rafael sits up a little bit, paying attention a little more. Probably just because this is more work for him to do.

The three officers go into the room and they see the guy they're trying to catch with a gun to a teenage girl's head.

"Put the gun down," the first officer says.

The guy just grips the girl tighter, so tight that she squeals.

Minutes of negotiation go on, Olivia getting more and more nervous by the minute. Nobody will put their guns down. Olivia just prays this ends well.

Rafael is not unaffected now. He's sitting straight up in his chair, fingers tapping anxiously on the table. Olivia wants to say something, say Carisi will be okay, but...she doesn't know. She can't tell herself that, how is she going to convince Rafael?

And then everything moves so quickly. The body cam officer shoots, everyone shoots, and about fifteen seconds later when the shooting stops, he turns to the other officers and they see Carisi on the ground.

Rafael leans forward on his knees and rubs his face, like he can't watch anymore. Like he doesn't want to watch.

"Officer down," one of the other officers says, "10-13, officer down."

Carisi has been shot, there right in front of them. Olivia curses letting Rafael watch, because clearly his heart is in it because he's suddenly a mess. He's unfocused and shaking a little bit.

And then he's up in a flash, grabbing his phone off the table and shrugging his jacket on. "Which--where--he--"

Olivia stands with him. "I'll drive you."

Rafael looks at her in shock. More shock than he's already in. It's like he's surprised he's being so open about his feelings right now. Olivia wants to say, 'I know you're together and I know this is a big deal, so don't be ashamed!'

But all that comes out is, "Raf, I know. Let's go."

Rafael slowly nods and follows her out of the precinct.

* * *

 

Olivia stands over Carisi's sleeping form in the hospital bed. Rafael is sitting on the other side of Carisi, stroking his arm and staring at him dreamily. Olivia just smiles, despite the fact that they're watching Carisi sleep after his surgery from being shot.

"So how long?" she asks.

Rafael doesn't look at her. "A little over a year."

"A year?! An entire year has gone by of this and you haven't thought to mention it?"

"Well, there are legalities to our bosses knowing."

"I'm his boss, but I'm your friend."

"Yeah, I know."

"So a good year, then?"

"He's in the process of moving in."

"Disregard the fact that it's Carisi, but a guy is moving in to your apartment and you've been dating over a year, and you haven't thought to mention it to me?"

Rafael smiles up at her quickly, then looks back at Carisi.

Olivia brushes a hair off Carisi's forehead.

"Are you happy?" she asks.

"Unbelievably."

"Then I'm happy for you."

Rafael won't take his eyes off Carisi for more than a second. He'd never say it, but Olivia knows he's still freaking out on the inside. Carisi was shot in the side, it wasn't deep at all. It wasn't life threatening, but Olivia understands Rafael's fear.

"He really is going to be fine," Olivia says. "You can stop staring at him to make sure he's still breathing."

Rafael takes a deep breath. "I'm just glad he's here," he says quietly.

"God, now you guys are going to be nauseating, aren't you? Alright, I'll go so you can keep making heart-eyes at Carisi."

"Thanks, Liv."

Olivia smiles once more. "See you soon."

She leaves the two men alone, Rafael still stroking Carisi's arm and watching him sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and the kudos and for reading! When I look for stories to read I filter them by hits and let me tell you, when this showed up on the second page when filtering by hits I about flipped out. Thank you so much!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Linhaa prompted Rafael meeting Sonny's sisters, and that's coming tomorrow! But, see, I come from a big family like theirs, and when my sisters bring new guys around, it's all of us grilling them. Good times. Hope you enjoy! Comments always appreciated!

**X) The family meeting Gina's new boyfriend.**

* * *

 

The Carisi clan's annual Christmas party (which is actually the week before Christmas) has gathered at Sonny's parents' house this year, which gave Gina, his older sister, the opportunity to bring her new boyfriend.

They've been dating for five months, and the poor man is being thrown into all the Carisi's at once. At least when Sonny invited Rafael to a dinner, it was their quiet Sunday dinner and they'd been together for double the amount of time as Gina and this guy have been.

There's been talk about the guy all week, since Gina asked last week if it'd be okay to invite him. According to Gina, he's simply amazing, the greatest guy she's ever known. She's so happy with him, he's so great.

The greater family isn't really effected by the boyfriend joining, but the siblings are buzzing with excitement of finally getting to roast Gina on her date. After years of Tommy jokes, then Rafael jokes, it's finally Gina's turn.

Finally, he arrives, a little later than expected, because by now the Carisi kids and Rafael have taken post at the kitchen table just waiting for him.

"Ok," Gina announces when headlights are seen out the window. "He's here. Please behave."

Bella and Theresa, who have already had a few drinks, wink at each other. Sonny rolls his eyes.

As soon as Gina leaves the room, the Carisi kids run to the couch against the living room window to look outside. The sight before them is not what they expected.

Theresa starts, "He's...kind of--"

Bella cuts her off, "A huge dork, oh my god."

The boyfriend, Jacob the junior high math teacher, is wearing a nice coat and slacks, but has perfectly combed hair and thick rimmed glasses. He is not anything like any guy Gina has ever dated, because he looks like a nerd as opposed to her usual bad boy 'why would you date this guy?' guy.

"Did you guys discuss me like this?" Rafael asks.

"Yeah," Sonny answers him. "Every time you left a room they'd say how hot you are. For, like, a year."

Rafael starts to ask him to elaborate, but the front door swings open and Gina is in the living room with her boyfriend.

"Guys, this is Jacob," she says.

The Carisi kids jump off the couch to act like they weren't staring out the window. They make their way to Gina and Jacob to introduce themselves, Rafael at the end.

"Hi, I'm Rafael," he introduces himself.

"Oh, Gina didn't mention Theresa was with anyone."

"No," Rafael says, confused and a little bit offended. "I'm with Sonny."

"Oh..." is all Jacob says before moving on to meet Deb, their mom.

Rafael moves to Gina. "You didn't tell him about me?"

"Relax, I didn't tell him about Tommy either."

"That doesn't make me feel better."

Gina pats his shoulder and follows Jacob to meet their dad.

The Carisi kids stay close together all night, as they usually do, watching Gina introduce Jacob to everyone.

Around 8 o'clock, almost immediately after dinner, Jacob announces he needs to leave because it's 'getting late'. After saying their goodbyes, the Carisi kids (and Rafael) hide out in their parents' bedroom like they have at every family party since they were kids.

Only now, they have alcohol.

"Where did you meet him?" Theresa asks.

"At a bar."

"That guy goes to bars?" Bella asks.

"Well," Gina explains, "Yeah, it was trivia night."

"What an animal," Theresa mumbles.

Gina just rolls her eyes.

Sonny and Rafael had been blessedly out of conversation until then, because anytime one of the sisters brings someone new and Sonny comments, the girls have enough ammunition on his past relationships that they can turn grilling the new boyfriend to grilling Sonny.

"What's a guy like that like in bed?" Theresa asks.

"Geez, 'Resa," Sonny mutters.

"Oh come on, like we didn't ask you."

Rafael lifts an eyebrow. "And what did you say?"

"I--I--"

Bella cuts in, "Don't worry, Raf, he gave you a good review."

"Tell us about the teacher," Theresa tries again.

"Remember that teacher Sonny dated?" Gina asks, diverting.

Sonny smiles. "Yeah, she was a fr--"

Rafael clears his throat.

Sonny loses his smile. "Friendly girl. She was friendly."

Before Gina can answer what they keep asking, Tommy bursts into the room.

He approaches the bed with a groan. "Oh god, not this again. Not any more, I thought we were done with roasting boyfriends."

Bella tells him, "You used to like joining us!"

"Yeah, when Sonny was still dating girls! No offense, Rafael."

Confused, Rafael says, "Uhm...none taken."

"What are you guys discussing anyway?" Tommy asks.

"You're not convincing us that you don't want to be involved," Theresa tells him.

"They're trying to get me to say what Jacob is like in bed."

"Oh, quiet dude like that? It's the quiet ones you gotta look out for," Tommy tells them, "Remember that teacher Sonny dated? She was a fr--"

Bella glares at him.

"Friendly girl."

"Told you," Sonny adds.

The girls roll their eyes.

Gina does not end up telling them about what Jacob is like in bed, because they start to argue over the "quiet ones you have to look out for" comment. The girls claim that is not true and are offended at the thought.

Eventually, Deb, their mother, finds them hiding in her bedroom and makes them exit to mingle with their guests.

When the night finally ends, Rafael and Sonny get in their car to go home. Sonny, in the driver's seat, turns to Rafael.

"Thank you," he says sweetly, then leans over the console to give Rafael a kiss.

"Not that I don't like to be appreciated, but what for?"

"For dealing with my family. For accepting them."

"As long as they've accepted me, I'll always be here."

Sonny smiles, then kisses him again before he starts the engine and they go home.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight NSFW.

**22) Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?**

* * *

 

Rafael hates texting. It's as simple as that. Why take the time to type out a message when you can dial a number and have the conversation a thousand times faster? Not to say he doesn't also hate talking on the phone, or interacting with other people anyway, but if the choice is between a text and a call, he chooses the call.

But he does text, sometimes it's his mother or Olivia during the day. Sometimes he texts Carmen, his assistant, and sometimes he texts other lawyers about meetings or to gloat about a win.

Most of the time he texts Sonny. And he hates that more, because of how much he wants to talk to Sonny during the day.

And it's about absolutely nothing. Usually, Sonny starts it after they've both been at work a while to ask how Rafael is feeling and if he had a good night's sleep, or what he ate for breakfast and if he took his vitamin. He reminds Rafael to not drink too much coffee, and that a shot of scotch is not a suitable lunch.

Sonny will text him before meetings, after meetings, before court, after court.

Usually he says something helpful like, "Don't forget to lift your chin during your cross, it's intimidating."

Sometimes, if Rafael is having a hard time with a case, Sonny will text, "You can do it. It'll be fine. Good luck."

Sometimes, Sonny texts confident encouragement like, "Kick ass, baby. You got this."

It's Rafael who gets sappy during the day.

It's Rafael who texts Sonny, "I was hoping to see you before I left for work, but I needed to be in early. Miss you."

It's Rafael who texts Sonny, "Keep your head up, you saved the boy."

It's Rafael who texts Sonny, "Can't wait to see you later."

It's Rafael who texts Sonny, "Your ass looked great in those pants, thanks for that."

And then Sonny, Sonny who acts so sweet and innocent to everyone else, will be the one to text Rafael right before bed, "Really wish I had your dick right now."

And Rafael, who cannot sext worth anything, can only reply, "What do you need it for?"

And Sonny will not even care about his poor sexting and say, "I'd use it to replace the fingers I've got in me right now."

And although Rafael would love to read Sonny's more elaborate texts, imagine more of being in bed with Sonny, only thinks to reply, "The talent you possess to be texting and touching yourself at the same time is astounding."

So Sonny calls him. "Why can't you just go  
with it, Rafi?"

Rafael laughs. "Why can't you just call me instead?"

"Sometimes sexting is sexy."

"We don't need to keep our conversation private from others. In the safety of my own home, I'm allowed to openly convey how badly I'd like to fuck you right now."

"Damn, well when you say it like that."

Then, their conversation continues, no texting necessary.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Linhaa prompted meeting the sisters. Hope this is ok!
> 
> Two uploads today because I am way behind and only going to get busier the next couple of days. Prompts welcome! Comments appreciated!

**X) Rafael meeting Sonny's sisters.**

* * *

 

"You should see him," Bella says, absentmindedly patting the back of the baby resting against her chest. "He is...Remember that guy Sonny dated right after high school?"

Theresa and Gina, the older two, nod excitedly.

"Mmm, the baseball player? He was hot!" Theresa says.

"He was eighteen!" Sonny cries.

"Eighteen is eighteen, babe."

Sonny rolls his eyes and sips his wine.

"Anyway," Bella continues, "This guy is way hotter than him. Kind of little, but the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen on a man."

"And he's a lawyer, right?" Gina asks.

"A big shot lawyer in the city."

Sonny just listens to his sisters discuss Rafael and his love life. He silently sips his wine.

"When are you bringing him over for Sunday dinner?" Gina asks.

Theresa adds, "Does he go to church? Mom will die if he doesn't go to church."

Sonny snorts. "Mom's dyin' because he's a he, let's not pretend she's not."

"She's coming around, Sonny," Bella argues. "Trust me, compared to when we were in high school."

Sonny is about to reply, to not open up that can of worms right now, when Gina asks again if he's bringing Rafael to dinner any time soon.

"Eh, I don't know," Sonny says, "It's not...we're not that--"

"How long have you been dating?"

"Ten months."

"Ten months?!" Theresa cries.

"That's longer than Theresa's ever been with anybody," Bella mutters.

Gina laughs, but Theresa glares at them.

As they're talking and laughing, mostly about Theresa's terrible exes, their mother enters the dining room to get the baby from Bella.

"What are you all laughing at?" she asks.

"We're trying to convince Sonny to bring his boyfriend over," Gina answers.

Sonny quietly sips his wine.

"Oh," his mom squeaks. "That's...that would be nice."

Theresa hits his shoulder. "See? That would be nice."

"Bring him next weekend!" Bella says.

"Fine, maybe I'll ask him," is all Sonny can say.

* * *

 

Sonny hadn't really thought about taking Rafael to meet his family. Not yet, at least. Although he felt serious about Rafael, he was still unsure of whether or not Rafael saw him being around in the long run. What was the point of bringing him home if Rafael's mind wasn't there. Sonny has never met Rafael's mother.

He tries to ask about a dozen times at the beginning of the week, but he always gets interrupted and can easily brush it off as not a big deal.

Finally, on Thursday, Rafael asks what it is he wants to ask.

"You've been trying to get at something all week," he tells Sonny. "What is it?"

Nervous, Sonny mumbles, "It's...stupid, really."

"Come on, Sonny. Is something bothering you?"

"No, not botherin' me. It's just...look, my sisters want to meet you."

"Oh. That's all?"

"That's all? What do you mean 'that's all'?"

"I mean, I've been nervous all week and all you want is for me to meet your family? Not really a big deal compared to what my mind was going to."

Sonny wants to ask what 'big' thing Rafael's mind jumped to that had him nervous, still wondering if the seriousness of their relationship is one-sided, but he decides not to start that discussion yet.

Instead he says, "Oh. Well, I'm sorry. 'Cause, yeah, this is a big deal for me and I didn't know if you'd want to, y'know? You don't have to. Really, I'm not going to be hurt if you say no."

Actually, Sonny realizes in saying that, he might be hurt. Because he's offering, he's kind of, in a way, putting his heart out there. He's telling Rafael that this isn't just a fling, he wants Rafael to meet his family, for god's sake. That's not nothing. He'll absolutely read into Rafael's answer.

"Can I think about it?" Rafael asks.

"Sure, yeah. I was thinking you could come to Sunday dinner with me, so just let me know by then."

Rafael's phone starts ringing, so he mutters an excuse and leaves the room. He's gone for ten, maybe fifteen minutes, Sonny knows it's a work call.

When he returns, he's pocketing his phone and tells Sonny he'll go to dinner.

"Wait, we were you discussing that on the phone just now?"

"No, but it was a boring conversation and my mind wandered. I'd like to meet your family."

Relief washes over Sonny. "Ok, great."

Rafael smiles at him, gives him a quick kiss, then goes to the kitchen to make some after-dinner coffee.

* * *

 

Sunday comes quickly.

Sonny goes to mass in the morning, like he usually does, then goes home to prepare himself for the evening.

He knows he's in for teasing, because that's what happens when he's with his sisters anyway. And this week they'll be trying with maximum effort to embarrass him. He'll be in for jokes and mocking.

But above all, he prepares for the possibility of Rafael changing his mind after tonight, or his sisters not liking Rafael. His sisters aren't awful, but he has been broken up with because of them before. When he started the academy, he was dating a girl he liked so much that he really thought she'd be the one, but his sisters hated her and she hated them, so she broke up with him. It was devastating, but Sonny values what his sisters think, so he may have broken up with her anyway. It would kill him if the girls don't like Rafael.

At least Bella already likes him. Bella's already talked him up enough. Of course, Bella never spoke to him on a personal level. Bella's seen Courtroom Rafael. Not Real Life Rafael, who is kind of a dick in a different way and snorts at anything less refined than he is.

God, this is going to be a disaster, Sonny finally accepts.

He gets so nervous that he almost calls both parties to cancel, but eventually it's too late to make excuses and he knows he has to go. Buzzing Rafael's doorbell, Sonny takes a deep breath, says a silent prayer, and vows to himself to make the best of it.

\---

Sonny can't tell if Rafael is in ultimate kiss-ass mode or if he's genuinely enjoying the Carisi clan. He was polite and pleasant upon introductions, shaking Nicki's (Sonny's father) hand with a strong ease and letting Deb (Sonny's mother) hug him briefly. Sonny knows his mom is on her best behavior.

Dinner still hasn't been served, they've only been there about twenty minutes, and Rafael has begun asking Nicki about his book collection. Thank god he actually found the one truly refined thing in the house, the book collection is a work of art itself. Nicki's got classics, first editions, signed copies, and Rafael's listening intently while Nicki talks about each one.

The Carisi children watch from the entrance of the kitchen, where they can see Nicki and Rafael but not be seen.

"Jesus, he is hot," Theresa says.

"I told you," Bella replies.

Gina defensively tells her, "You're married."

"Do you forget he's dating me?" Sonny asks.

"And he's smart," says Theresa.

"Obviously. He's a lawyer," Gina agrees.

"He went to Harvard," Bella tells them, "I saw the degrees."

"I didn't bring him here for you," Sonny says, unnoticed.

"How old is he?" Gina asks.

"Probably early 40's?" Bella guesses.

Theresa looks up at Sonny. "He's too old for you, Son."

Sonny rolls his eyes. "He isn't straight enough for you, 'Resa."

Theresa shrugs.

"So what's his deal?" Gina asks.

"What do you mean?" Sonny replies, confused.

Theresa answers, "40's and unmarried, what's his deal?"

Bella snorts. "Yeah, remember that guy Gina dated who had a collected of mysterious shoe boxes in his closet?"

"Did we ever find out what was in the shoe boxes?" Theresa asks.

"I never did!" Gina says.

"What are Rafael's shoe boxes?" Bella asks.

Sonny shrugs. "Nothin'. He was too busy to date, I guess. I don't know. Nothin's wrong with him. He's great. He's the best. He can cook, he's clean, he can dance, sing, he's smart, he's funny, he's..."

Sonny pauses, suddenly realizing the girls are staring at him. "What?" he questions.

"You love him," Gina mutters.

"What? I do not."

"You totally love him," Theresa agrees.

"No, I don't."

"You're so obviously in love with him," Bella says.

"I am not!"

"That's so cute, Son," Theresa tells him.

"Your first big boy relationship," Gina adds.

"So when's the big day?" Bella teases.

Sonny sighs. "I'm going to help mom."

"Go tell Mommy that the girls are being mean to you," Theresa says.

"Shut up," Sonny says, leaving the girls in the doorway to go find his mother.

* * *

 

Dinner is finally served and the family takes their seats at the table. A chair was added for Rafael, right next to Sonny, and that pleases Sonny more than he'd admit.

Of course, the pleasantness begins to wear off when the sisters begin grilling Rafael with a million questions.

"What do you do, exactly?"

"What are your hobbies?"

"What do you do in your free time?"

"What do you mean you don't like baseball?"

"So you're Cuban?"

"Sonny says you can dance."

"Sonny says you can sing."

"Sonny says you like to cook."

The questions never end, not even when Deb tries to get the girls to stop asking Rafael a million questions. Rafael just takes it, answering and making conversation between bites. Sonny doesn't really help the situation, only half heartedly trying to get the girls to stop. There's no stopping the Carisi girls when they're ganging up on somebody.

Finally, the evening ends and Sonny and Rafael pause in the driveway.

"Oh my god," Rafael sighs. "I'm exhausted. How are you not exhausted?"

"I have thirty years of experience with them."

"They just don't stop talking. Do they ever stop talking?"

"No, they really don't."

"And they're so loud. Is it just me or does the volume just go up when the room they're in gets smaller?"

Sonny laughs. "Yeah, that happens."

Rafael sighs again, grabbing onto Sonny.

"Just letting you know, they're probably watching right now," Sonny says.

"So that's means I can't be too close to you? Are you embarrassed or something?"

Sonny smiles, then pulls Rafael in to kiss him quickly. Just then, an upstairs window right above them is thrown open and Sonny's sisters poke their heads out to whistle at them. Sonny flips them off and kisses Rafael again.

On the drive home, Sonny's phone vibrates with a text and he asks Rafael to read it. It's a group chat between all the sisters, telling Sonny they think Rafael is great.

Sonny just beams, so happy that his sisters and Rafael got along and like each other.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flowerpower0809 prompted camping, which was immediately hilarious to me. Hope you like it!

**X) Camping!**

* * *

 

Rafael throws the tent poles for the tenth time. Or maybe the third time. He's giving up quickly.

"God, Sonny, what the hell am I doing?"

"You're not puttin' up the tent, I can tell ya that."

Rafael glares at him.

Sonny smiles. "Relax, you'll get it."

Sonny leaves again to get something out of the car. He's disappeared on Rafael half a dozen times; Rafael knows they didn't pack that much crap. They're sleeping outside for one night.

Camping, ok. They're camping. They're camping up north for a night, in the beginning of November, so Rafael thinks if they don't freeze to death, he might just kill Sonny instead.

What made him agree to this? What made him say, 'Sure, cariño, I'll go camping with you.'?

His commitment to Sonny, perhaps. His undying love for Sonny, perhaps. His obsessive need to make Sonny the happiest person on earth, perhaps.

Maybe it was Sonny's hand down his pants not even twenty seconds earlier. There's a combination of things, really.

So now it's the following weekend and Rafael is throwing the tent across the...wilderness. Rafael looks up, way up at the tall trees and the ridiculously blue sky and the sun peaking over the outrageously giant trees. He's in the fucking woods somewhere, ready to sleep outside. And for what?

Rafael turns to the rustling he hears coming at him through the trees. And ah, there he is. The reason he's doing this.

"Here baby, might be easier with this."

Sonny hands him a beer. It's noon and he's cracking open a bottle of beer. Forget that it's too early, it's a freaking beer.

"Does it build tents?"

Sonny chuckles. "No, but it'll help you to not get so frustrated."

Rafael can't argue with that. He takes the bottle from Sonny and takes a hefty swig.

"Is this all you brought?" Rafael asks, referring to the alcohol.

"Nah, I got somethin' else. But when you're campin' you drink beer."

"Uh huh," Rafael replies. He sets his beer down and tries again with the tent.

By the time he's finished the bottle, the tent is haphazardly in place. Sonny beams at him with pride, then kisses his head and moves on to their next task.

Sonny had set the fishing poles out already.

"Dios mio," Rafael mutters, standing next to him. "You're not going to make me eat fish tonight, are you?"

Sonny laughs. "No, I knew that's where the line would be drawn, so I brought some other stuff. We'll toss the fish back when we catch them. But...I thought it'd be more fun for you if we played a little game with it."

Confused, Rafael asks what he has in mind.

Sonny goes to one of the bags he unpacked from the car and grabs a bottle of whiskey. "When I catch a fish, you take a shot. When you catch a fish, I'll take a shot."

Rafael grins. "Now you're speaking my language."

Sonny gathers all the supplies they need, including some snacks and the bottle of whiskey, then they go to the edge of the nearest dock to fish.

"Now, you've never done this, but I haven't done it since I was, like, twelve, so we're kinda even. 'Cause you're a quick learner, you'll pick it up."

"You're trying to flatter me."

Sonny leans in close. "Is it working?"

Rafael pecks him quickly on the lips. "Getting there."

Sonny smiles, then takes a seat at the edge of the dock.

Sonny shows Rafael how to cast the line, which he does pick up quickly. The problem is that the fish aren't biting.

"Can we drink the whiskey anyway?" Rafael asks after about twenty minutes of waiting.

"It's only been twenty minutes!"

Rafael groans. "I'm bored."

Sonny rolls his eyes. He mutters, "Dios mio," which makes Rafael grin to himself as Sonny pours the first shots.

It usually takes a lot for Rafael to feel a bit of a buzz, but maybe it's the fresh air and carefree attitude, maybe it's Sonny's hair free of product and the sleeves of his hoodie rolled up, but three shots in Rafael begins to feel it.

"What is in this?" Rafael asks, lifting the bottle to read the label.

Sonny shrugs, casting his line again.

Then, the first fish bites. Sonny catches a little one that fits in his hand, then takes it off the line and tosses it back in.

"You owe me a shot, counselor."

Rafael happily drinks another.

Sonny catches another fish before Rafael's first fish, which means he's content enough to touch the fish. The small, sober part of the back of his mind is screaming how disgusting that is, but the buzzed part overpowers, and the want to impress Sonny grows, so he takes it off the line himself and holds it for a second longer before tossing it back.

"Proud of you, Raf," Sonny says, taking his shot.

Three more fish, three more shots between them, and then they start kissing on the dock.

Maybe it is the fresh air, maybe it's Sonny's stupid sparkling eyes, maybe it's the red in his cheeks from the alcohol, maybe it's the way he keeps licking his lips, but Rafael needs Sonny's mouth on his.

Everything is moved out of the way, they push close together, and Rafael thinks about the fish hands too late. Oh well, he thinks, because Sonny tastes delicious and feels wonderful.

They make out for long, slow minutes. The alcohol just makes everything feel better, it makes Rafael forget that they're in the damn woods.

But then Sonny pulls away with a new twinkle in his eye.

"Hey, I got an idea."

"Hmm?"

Sonny grins and nods at the water below them.

Rafael shakes his head. "No way."

"Come on, it'll be fun! It's not too cold yet. I brought towels."

Sonny quickly stands and takes off his jacket while toeing off his shoes. He yanks his shirt over his head, then unbuckles his belt.

"Come on," he tries again.

"I'd rather just enjoy the show."

Sonny smiles again, dropping his jeans. He pulls off his socks, then before Rafael can stop him, he jumps in the water.

"Sonny!" Rafael cries.

Sonny pops back above the surface and yelps. "K, it's a little cold!"

Rafael just stares at him. "Are you crazy?"

"Come on!" Sonny repeats, then splashes water up at Rafael.

"Sonny! Stop it!"

"Come in! I'll warm you."

Rafael is about to say no again, but then Sonny tosses his boxers onto the dock. Well, how can Rafael say no to a wet, naked Sonny?

Rafael strips off his clothes, all of them because he's not dealing with wet boxers, while Sonny whistles and cheers from the water. Then, he dives in, popping up instantly because of the cold water.

Sonny doesn't give him a chance to complain; he instantly clings to Rafael and begins to kiss him again.

They stay in the water well after they're warm, until their skin starts to prune. Rafael makes Sonny run back to their camp, naked, for their towels, but he drinks a little bit more whiskey while Sonny is gone so it's fine.

After they're dried and dressed again, Sonny starts a fire, which he gets going almost instantly and Rafael wonders what voodoo he has over the forest, and makes soup on the fire. They enjoy their soup and sober up a bit, then they go for a walk before it gets too dark.

When they make it back to their campsite, worn out and more than ready for more alcohol, Rafael comes to one halting problem.

"Uh, Sonny?"

"Yeah, Rafi?"

"Where am I supposed to go to the bathroom?"

Sonny begins to laugh.

Rafael glares at him. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"You're in a forest. You can literally go anywhere."

Rafael glares at him even harder. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Sonny laughs harder than before. "Yeah, relax. There was a bathroom rest area by where we parked."

They walk to the rest area, Rafael glaring and Sonny laughing the entire time.

When they return to their campsite, the sun is completely down and the fire is blazing beautifully. It's getting colder, so they get out their blankets and Sonny builds a little nest for them.

"This isn't so bad, is it Rafi? Me and you, a fire, the stars. Not bad at all."

Rafael burrows deeper into their blankets, snuggling closer to Sonny. Not saying anything isn't admitting, right?

When they're finally yawning too much to hold a conversation, Sonny douses the fire and they crawl into the tent.

"Thanks for comin' with me, Rafi. I just needed some peace and quiet, time away, y'know?"

"God knows we both needed it, Sonny."

"Next time we'll do somethin' you want to do, okay? I promise. I won't drag you to do somethin' you don't want to do again."

Rafael frowns. He doesn't want Sonny to think he didn't enjoy himself at all. Of course he had a good time, he was completely alone with Sonny, no distractions, no phone calls or case files. Sure, the tent debacle was tricky, and in hindsight the fish was disgusting, but he did have a good time. With Sonny.

"I wouldn't be opposed to doing this every once in a while. I admit...it was relaxing."

Sonny slowly cracks a smile. "You're sayin' I was right?"

"Now, wait, I'm not saying you were right--"

"Didn't I say it'd be relaxing? Didn't I say you'd admit that at the end of the trip?"

"I--"

"Hang on, lemme let this soak in. Oh man, I was right!"

Rafael, now smiling at Sonny even though Sonny was not right, attacks Sonny with a kiss to shut him up.

Sonny just kisses back, enthusiastically, in the pitch black of their tent under the forest sky.


	24. Chapter 24

Rafael follows Sonny through the isles of Babies-R-Us for the tenth time this week. Gina's baby shower is two days away, so Rafael hopes this is the last time they make this trip.

It's not that he doesn't like shopping, it's just that, over the past week, "I just need to pick up a few onesies or something." has turned into "Does Gina need a crib? I can get a crib, right?" Gina's first baby, Sonny's first nephew, and obviously he is very excited.

Rafael helps Sonny pick out a few more outfits, less stylish and far less expensive than Rafael would pick, but still pretty cute and practical. He holds one up that says, "Uncle's Best Buddy", and Sonny beams.

"What if he thinks Tommy is his best buddy?" Rafael teases.

Sonny snorts. "I already got this kid so spoiled. Plus, I'm a cop. Who doesn't think cops are way cooler?"

"Sure, Sonny."

Rafael looks through more clothes, blankets, and toys. He picks up a stuffed bear that he remembers buying for Bella's second baby, and begins to ponder how much time has gone by since he and Sonny got together. There have been marriages, babies, deaths. He's been with Sonny for a few Carisi babies' whole lives so far. How strange is that?

Rafael pulls a onesie off the rack that's a bright red color with a firetruck printed on it. On the top, it says, "Dad's My Hero".

A painful stab pierces Rafael's insides suddenly. He's been feeling it a lot more lately, since Gina's been pregnant at least. And mostly since she found out he's a boy. Sure, Sonny loves his nieces, but a boy. Gina's asked if she can give him the middle name Dominick, after Sonny and their dad, and she's keeping her maiden name on the birth certificate. So there will be another variation of Dominick Carisi walking around.

And that hurts Rafael in ways he can't describe. He's not their Dominick Carisi. They won't have a Dominick Carisi. Not only has he never in his life had thoughts like these before now, but he's way too old to be having a baby.

He looks over at Sonny, smiling at the little silly sayings on the baby onesies. He looks over at Sonny and wonders if he robbed Sonny of this. If he robbed Sonny of the inevitable police car shirt that says, "Dad's My Hero."

Rafael thinks he needs to ask. He needs to know.

"Hey, Sonny? Can I ask you a question?"

Sonny pushes the cart closer to Rafael. "Sure."

"Did you..." He takes a deep breath while putting the onesie back on the rack. "Did you ever want to, you know, have a baby?"

"Oh...wow. Uhm--"

"I mean, you had relationships before me, right? At least one close to marriage, right? Why didn't you ever have a baby?"

Sonny chuckles. "Birth control."

Rafael frowns. "That's not what I mean."

"I know, I know. I guess I just...y'know, at the time it was college, then the academy, then getting my bearings on the force, then it was law school, then it was Manhattan SVU, then it was--"

Rafael's head hangs in guilt. "Me."

"No, hey, no way. It was, 'I cry every time I do a diaper run for Rollins because I couldn't afford a ten dollar package of diapers because I'm in debt up to my eyeballs.' Trust me, Rafi, it wasn't you."

"But I...I've never wanted one, and--"

"You think I'd be with you if I thought you were holding me back from havin' a kid? I broke up with a guy once 'cause he didn't want me to get a tattoo."

Rafael eyes him, confused. "You don't have a tattoo..."

"Yeah, I chickened out. But my point is that if a kid was something I really, truly wanted, you wouldn't stand in my way."

"So then...you're so great with kids. Why...not?"

Sonny shrugs. "I think 'cause I'm selfish."

"What do you mean?"

"My first year on the force, in the great city of Staten Island--"

Rafael laughs.

"My captain was an older guy with one son. I knew his kid played baseball for the same high school I went to, and I also knew they were playing in a big playoff game. My captain was working when the game was going on. And they lost."

Rafael nods, beckoning Sonny to continue.

"So, I just realized...I'd be him. You know me, I can't not give a million percent doing something. I didn't think I could balance being a good dad and a good cop."

"Olivia and Amanda do it."

"They got loads of help. And, y'know, there are still times they can't do both. There are times when Jesse has a dance recital or Noah has piano lessons. And then there I am to either take a shift or record a performance. I just...I'm not sayin' my job is more important than a kid, but...if I've never known what it's like to have a kid, my job is more important."

"I still feel like I'm robbing you of this."

"You're not, I promise. You know what I'd say if you said right now that you wanna have a baby?"

"What?"

"I'd say, 'At your age?'"

Rafael cracks a smile. "Ha-ha."

Sonny smiles at him. "And besides, we have three great nieces and a new nephew on the way. A brand new Dominick Carisi, kind of. And I will be his favorite uncle, because Tommy sucks and I will teach him everything he needs to know. And you can be runner up. You can be the favorite when I'm not around."

Rafael chuckles. "I'm sorry I brought this up now."

Sonny waves him off. "Nah, I'm glad you did. I could tell somethin' was botherin' you. Though, why we had to have this conversation now is--"

Rafael steps around the cart until he's close enough to Sonny to pull him down into a kiss.

"I love you," he says.

Sonny smiles. "I love you, too."

They share one more quick kiss before leaving the isle they're in to stroll down the next one for the hundredth time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, they won't have a baby in my universe.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if you search for this pairing and filter by hits, this story is now on page one and when I discovered that I pretty much died. Thank you so much!

Sonny likes to make breakfast most mornings. He likes to be in charge of how much syrup is on the pancakes, how much sugary cereal Rafael consumes, how much bacon is eaten. That, and he likes to make breakfast more than Rafael does.

So Sonny goes into the kitchen while Rafael heads for the shower. He usually takes a long, hot shower in the mornings that they're staying home because Sonny is busying himself in the kitchen for so long.

But Sonny joins him in the shower about five minutes in.

Sonny does not make breakfast that morning. Sonny grumbles about going out, then spends the rest of their quick shower not making contact with Rafael at all.

Usually, after their breakfast but before lunch, there's a bit of cleaning. Sonny likes to get chores out of the way before relaxation, then they read quietly or fold laundry or go grocery shopping.

Today, Sonny does none of that. He flops on the couch and glares at the television as it plays some mind numbing show that Sonny is not interested in. The volume is too high and it's too distracting for Rafael to get any work done, so he just absentmindedly watches next to Sonny.

For lunch, sometimes they'll take a walk while snacking on sandwiches--or if Rafael wins the argument, hot dogs from the street. They might share a bag of chips and stop into a deli for some fruit. They might walk to the park to feed ducks in the lake.

Today, Sonny is too grouchy for Rafael to even ask if he wants to go grab a hot dog. Rafael settles for peanut butter and jam sandwiches, which is offers to Sonny but Sonny hardly picks at. Then, they resume their inane television watching and not speaking.

It finally starts to bother Rafael when Sonny won't join him for a nap. Usually, on their weekends off, naps are necessary. It's not that they do much in the mornings, but they like to catch up on missed sleep from the week before. Naps are just comfortable and sweet when Sonny is warm and smiling and holding Rafael close in the midday sun.

Nope. Sonny doesn't even look up when Rafael announces his exit. Rafael's heart sinks a bit, then he goes to the bedroom not to sleep, but to leave Sonny alone for a little while. By now, he surely thinks he's done something wrong. He fears he's upset Sonny in some way.

Rafael tosses and turns, wondering what he did. Sonny was all smiles before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Did Rafael forget to put the milk back the night before again? Sonny would've just asked him to run down to the corner for more.

Did Rafael say something upsetting? Sonny would probably call him out on it.

Did Sonny receive some unfortunate news, or something? Surely he would have just told Rafael if that was the case.

Rafael tries to rack his brain for an answer, but none come. Instead, he makes himself feel sick with worry. Sonny's hardly spoken to him all day. He must've really pissed Sonny off.

Dinnertime is usually spent in the kitchen together. They are excellent together, never fighting over space or getting in the other's way. They sing, or dance, or kiss happily, but they're together and laughing.

Not today. Because Sonny makes no effort to tell Rafael what he wants, Rafael heats up leftovers from the night before and offers a plate to Sonny. Sonny just picks at it, eyebrows knit together and eyes dark.

Finally, right before bed, Rafael can no longer take it.

"Can you please just tell me what I did?"

Sonny looks at him like he's just noticing Rafael has been here all day. "Huh?"

"You're obviously mad at me," Rafael explains. "Can you just tell me what I did so I can fix it?"

Sonny looks bewildered. "You didn't--I'm not mad at you."

"Wh--" Rafael sighs. "Then why the hell have you been ignoring me all day? What happened?"

"The fucking garbage disposal won't turn on and I can't figure out why."

Rafael stares at him. He replays Sonny's statement in his mind. Finally, he finds the words. "You...you're pissed off, you've wasted an entire day being pissed off, because the fucking garbage disposal?"

"Yes!"

Rafael wants to bite something. "Seriously?! The garbage disposal?!"

Then, he turns and stalks out of the room.

Rafael has never, in his entire life, fixed a home appliance. He can't recall ever even changing a lightbulb. Why he thought he could fix the garbage disposal is a mystery, but fifteen minutes later he marches back into their bedroom just as pissed off as Sonny looked.

He throws the blankets back and climbs into bed. Angrily.

"Did you fix it?" Sonny asks.

"No. I'll call a guy tomorrow."

They settle into bed, staring at the total darkness above them.

"I'm sorry I wasted a day," Sonny says.

Rafael turns onto his side. "You owe me pancakes."

He feels Sonny envelope him from behind. Taking a deep breath, Rafael is able to fall asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is pure smut, I'm sorry. Or not.

**2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?**

* * *

 

Sonny and Rollins are heading back to the precinct when Sonny's phone rings. He fishes it out of his pocket quickly, assuming its Benson, but when he sees it's just Rafael, he calms a bit.

But still, in the car with Rollins, he answers it and tries to sound official.

"What can I do for you, counselor?"

Rafael must pick up on Sonny's current location, because he replies, "Detective Carisi, sorry, are you busy?"

"Nope, just headin' back to the station. What's up?"

"I could use your help. I have an hour before I need to be back in the courtroom."

Excited about Rafael asking for his help, he answers eagerly. "I can be there in ten." He nods to Rollins to make a U-turn and bids Rafael goodbye.

"Barba needs your help, huh?" Rollins teases. "With what, getting his coffee?"

"Ha-ha," is all Sonny says. He isn't sure whether or not Rollins knows about them. They've only been seeing each other about five months, but she teases him about Rafael anyway. She did before they got together.

They pull up to Rafael's building and Rollins doesn't park.

"Since this is official, big shot lawyer business--"

"Yeah," Sonny agrees. "I'll meet you back at the precinct later. I might sit in to listen to the trial. Let the Lieutenant know?"

Rollins nods, then Sonny shuts the door and she drives away.

Carmen, Rafael's assistant, barely looks up at Sonny when he announces himself. She's taking vigorous notes, so she tells him to let himself in. He's there enough. She probably knows about them.

He knocks twice before entering, just to be courteous.

"What's up, Raf?" he says in greeting.

Rafael does not greet him. Rafael looks tense and anxious and angry, his eyebrows are pressed close together and his eyes are dark. The bags under his eyes are more prominent than usual, and there are three cups of coffee on his desk that Sonny assumes were fresh not too long ago but are now empty.

Rafael picks up his phone and clicks only one button. "Carmen, Detective Carisi is here. Hold my calls."

Then he hangs up and stands from his desk.

"So," Sonny says, "What'd'ya--"

Rafael approaches him quickly and doesn't say a word before sticking his tongue down Sonny's throat.

Sonny gives a muffled grunt of surprise, then lets out a yelp when he feels Rafael's hands on his ass, pulling him close.

Rafael breaks the kiss to breathe first. "I have forty-five minutes," he says, reaching to take Sonny's jacket off.

"Wh--for what--"

Rafael slams him against the door next, his lips attaching to Sonny's neck. Sonny's tie comes undone.

"This case is making me so fucking furious," Rafael grumbles between licks and sucks to Sonny's exposed neck. "I don't want to think about it for forty-five minutes. All I want is you."

If that doesn't make Sonny weak in the knees. Now, Rafael can be sweet, sure. He can sweet talk Sonny, but he's a lawyer, so he just knows to say what Sonny wants to hear. And hell, "All I want is you." is probably what he thinks Sonny wants to hear. But he's never said that before, never been so straightforward. Sonny loves it.

Did he want to actually help Rafael on the case? Yes. Does he want Rafael to stop undoing his shirt and sucking kisses down his chest? Nope. Whatever he can do to help.

"What do you want me to do?" Sonny asks, holding Rafael's head against his nipple.

"I want to fuck you on my desk," Rafael confidently says.

And hell, if that's not a fantasy Sonny's come back to on lonely nights. Sonny doesn't think about it, he just agrees.

Rafael yanks him away from the door and they move to the desk.

Rafael undoes his slacks and flips his tie over his shoulder, out of the way. He reaches into the drawer at his side and takes out a bottle of lube.

Sonny finishes taking off his shirt. "Wait, you keep that in there?"

"Yeah, my last boyfriend was a lawyer in this building."

Sonny deflates. "Uh--"

"Relax, Sonny, I'm kidding. This is brand new." To prove it, Rafael pointedly unwraps the top and peels the seal off the cap. "I bought it, like, seven months ago."

Sonny pauses again. "Wait, seven? We've only been together--"

"Yes, yes, I've always wanted to fuck you in my office. Now are you going to take your pants off or not?"

Rafael kisses Sonny again, more desperate than before, and possibly more sweet, then Sonny takes his spot at the edge of Rafael's desk and spreads his legs wide enough for Rafael to fit between.

Rafael prepares Sonny quickly but efficiently, he doesn't get careless even if they're trying to be quick. He touches Sonny lovingly and kisses wherever he can reach with his lips.

When Sonny is finally begging him to hurry, Rafael rolls on a condom and lines up against Sonny. He's still half dressed. Sonny finds that more sexy than he thought he would.

"Do you want this?" he asks, voice gruff and deep. And incredibly sexy.

Sonny just nods, pleadingly, wrapping his legs around Rafael's hips to pull him in.

Rafael has mercy on him quickly, thankfully. He enters Sonny gently, making Sonny gasp and moan until Rafael is fully seated.

"This is exactly what I needed," Rafael says, almost in relief. He begins to thrust slowly, gripping Sonny's hips like a tether. "You feel so good."

Sonny moans, whines for Rafael to go harder. "C'mon, deeper, Rafi--"

Rafael complies with the deeper, but he thrusts slowly and softly until the very end, he gives Sonny a rough shove. Sonny grunts with each hard press, gripping the edge of the desk.

"Jesus, Raf..."

"This could be a nice arrangement," Rafael mutters; Sonny almost doesn't notice. "I get pissed in court, and you're just a phone call away for sex."

Sonny tries to smile, but it's broken into an open mouthed groan when Rafael picks up his pace.

"Usually I want dinner before," Sonny jokes.

"How about a stale cup of coffee?"

Sonny manages to let out a chuckle. "You're lucky I like you so much--"

Rafael shuts him up by quickening his hips, snapping harder and harder when he bottoms out.

"Rafi...fuck," Sonny sighs.

"I'm trying," Rafael says through gritted teeth.

Rafael's tongue pokes out of his mouth, wetting his lips and making him look that much more kissable. Sonny needs Rafael's mouth, and he also needs his cock touched, so he pushes himself up into a more sitting position. Rafael wraps one arm around Sonny's back, holding him close, and Sonny grips his tie to pull him in for a kiss.

Sonny pushes Rafael's shirt tail out of the way and takes himself in hand, stroking in time with Rafael's hips.

"I'm...fuck, soon--" is all Sonny can get out.

"Don't come on my shirt," Rafael mumbles, but it's too late, Sonny let's go in spurts all over himself, Rafael, and probably the desk.

Rafael doesn't give Sonny a chance to recuperate, he just slams into Sonny half a dozen times and comes biting at Sonny's plush bottom lip.

Sonny falls back onto the desk before Rafael can even pull out. He's completely worn, too tired to keep himself up. Rafael strokes his thighs soothingly.

"Are you ok?" Rafael asks.

"Perfect."

Rafael smiles, then leans over to kiss Sonny's stomach. He licks at the stripes of come cooling on Sonny's stomach and chest.

"God damn it," he says suddenly.

Although his tie had fallen back onto his chest, Sonny was holding it out of the way when he was coming. But when Rafael leaned over, it smeared across Sonny's stomach. His shirt was already a lost cause.

Sonny giggles. "I know you keep spare shirts here."

"It'll be weird that I was wearing one shirt and tie this morning and returning to court with a completely different set."

"Ah, who's gonna notice? I mean, I'd notice, but I spend most of my working day staring at you anyway."

Rafael rolls his eyes.

Sonny sits up again. "Lemme help you with that, counselor."

Sonny starts undressing Rafael, sneaking kisses on exposed skin here and there.

By the time they're both dressed again, a while later because they keep pausing to make out, it's time for Rafael to head back to the courthouse.

"Are you going to come with me?" Rafael asks.

Sonny smirks. "I thought I just did."

Rafael rolls his eyes. Sonny just laughs.

Sonny does go to the courthouse with Rafael, and Rafael seems far more relaxed than Sonny expects he was earlier that morning. Well, he's glad he did end up helping Rafael after all.

When Sonny finally gets back to the precinct, Rollins is still there.

"Finally," she comments, handing Sonny a cup of coffee as soon as he gets to his desk. "I thought you got lost."

"I told you I was gonna sit in on this afternoon."

Rollins nods. "Did you manage to help Barba?"

Sonny shrugs, taking a drink of coffee. "You know him," he lies, "Nothing I do is right."

"He rides you pretty hard, doesn't he?"

Sonny chokes on his coffee. His ears burn. "Yeah," he coughs out. "Guess so."

 


	27. Chapter 27

Rafael does not do romance. He has never done romance. The most romantic he's ever been in his entire life was on Valentine's Day in second grade that he bought chocolates for a classmate. And then he cried when she told him she hated chocolate. Since then, he has not done romance.

Sonny thinks Rafael is romantic. Rafael will do simple acts, like remember what kind of sauce Sonny likes on his hot wings, and Sonny will think it's romantic. Sonny thought it was the sweetest thing ever the first time Rafael ordered him a complicated coffee drink out of memory.

The point is the Rafael is not romantic but Sonny loves it anyway.

So when Rafael decided to propose on Christmas morning, it was nothing to him. It wasn't at a fancy restaurant, it wasn't at a place sentimental like his parent's house (like Theresa's proposal). They weren't going to be surrounded by friends and family. It is just going to be them, and Rafael is just going to ask.

In fact, Rafael has so little of a grand gesture planned that he put the ring under the tree. He wrapped up the ring box, but knowing his beloved and his beloved's inner six-year-old, because Sonny was eerily good at figuring out gifts just by the box size, Rafael put the little ring box inside a shoe box and wrapped both.

Sonny thinks he's getting shoes, which Rafael actually finds kind of adorable.

It's Christmas morning and Rafael is so ready to propose. He's not even nervous, he is more excited than anything. They're practically married anyway, they've been together long enough, they've lived together for years, Sonny's nieces call Rafael "Uncle Rafi". It's pretty much a done deal already.

Sonny wakes up before Rafael, like he usually does. Rafael feels the bed dip with Sonny rolling out of it, smells the strong scent of coffee a few minutes later, then hears Sonny's footsteps padding through the apartment until he hits their bed. That's when Sonny is suddenly throwing himself on top of Rafael.

"Wake up, Rafi, Santa came!"

Rafael just smiles happily and lets Sonny pull him out of bed.

They cuddle up in front of the tree, wrapped in blankets and holding their giant mugs of coffee. Sonny had pulled the giant living room curtains, so they can see snow gently falling outside. It's quiet, peaceful, and Rafael is the most calm he's ever been.

Sonny divides the gifts, a few for him and a few of Rafael. Rafael's pile is bigger, because Sonny tends to go overboard in his gift giving, but Sonny has a nice pile ready to be opened.

He's bursting at the seams, Rafael can tell. Finally, he gives in and tells Sonny to start.

They unwrap together. Rafael's first gift is a set of pajamas, because one can never have too many. Sonny first opens a new Mets hoodie. And he loves it, he puts it on right away.

Sonny had set the shoe box aside for last, because Rafael thinks he organizes his gifts by size. So when he grabs that box, Rafael's stomach flips. Not out of nerves, but excitement.

Sonny gets the shoe box open and takes a deep, surprised breath.

"Oh...my god..." Sonny whispers. "Is this...is this for real? Like, for real?"

"You haven't even opened it," Rafael absentmindedly mutters, messing with the Rubik's Cube Sonny bought him.

Sonny eagerly takes the ring box out of the shoe box and tosses the shoe box out of the way. Rafael still doesn't start paying attention, concentrating fully on the Rubik's Cube.

"Are you going to start paying attention to your own proposal?" Sonny asks, about to open the box.

"Oh, sure," Rafael finally says, putting it down and smiling at Sonny.

Sonny, sweet Sonny, with tears welling in his eyes already and the happiest grin on his face. He finally opens the box, and this is what Rafael was nervous about. It's a simple band, no diamonds or anything flashy. And it's the same color blue as his favorite Mets jersey.

"Geez, Rafi, its--"

"Do you like it? I hope you like it. There was black or silver, too, but I figured--"

Sonny leans over and kisses him. Rafael smiles.

When Sonny pulls away, Rafael takes the box from him.

"Hey Sonny?" he asks. "Will you marry me?"

Sonny wipes a tear from his eye and holds his hand out for Rafael.

"Yes, of course."

They smile at each other, kissing softly and laughing.

"And you claim to not be romantic," Sonny tells him."

"Romantic? Your ring was in a Nike box."

Sonny laughs. "It's Christmas morning, it's snowing, it was completely unexpected--"

"Really? You didn't expect it?"

"No, not at all!" Sonny twists the ring on his finger and stares at it happily. "It's beautiful, Rafi, I love this ring. And I got you a damn Rubik's Cube."

Rafael, focused on the toy once again, shrugs.

"Hey baby," Sonny says, "I love you."

Rafael smiles at him. "I love you, too."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Joyous Kwanzaa! 
> 
> My younger brother got engaged yesterday, as did my younger cousin and a few friends. So here's another Christmas engagement. I'll finish to 30 chapters even though Advent is over. Few more days, guys!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure smut. Enjoy.

Rafael's phone rings as soon as he's got one arm tangled in his suit vest. Rolling his eyes, because it's Sonny and he's in no mood whatsoever to talk to him right now, he shuffles to answer it. It's probably better to answer his husband's calls, even if he's pissed off at his coworker.

"Hello?"

"Raf, where are you?"

"I'm about to leave my office to go home. Why?"

Rafael hears the distinct click of the lock on their front door. His eyes narrow.

"Why are you home?" he asks. "You're supposed to be--"

"Can you fuckin' relax for a second? The Lieu ordered me to come home to sleep for a few hours."

"Then why are you calling me? Go to sleep. I'll go get some din--"

"No, please come home. We need to talk."

Rafael pulls his phone from his face to sigh without Sonny hearing it. "Alright," he says, grabbing his briefcase. "I'll be home soon."

Rafael doesn't want to go home. He doesn't want to see Sonny, not when this case is turning into a disaster and, even though deep down he knows SVU is doing all they can, they're not making it easier for him.

"I can't pull evidence outta my ass, Rafi," Sonny has said time and time again.

Rafael doesn't want to hear it. He wants results.

But he goes home anyway, because as mad as he is at his coworker, he misses his husband.

By the time he gets home, he's way more calm. He's ready to apologize to Sonny and hold him while he sleeps, because Sonny needs the sleep. He hasn't been home in four days, just settling for naps here and there at the precinct. Yesterday, Rafael delivered a shirt to Sonny on his way to work because Sonny couldn't go home to get one. So he feels bad for Sonny, and feels bad about being such an ass to him at work the past week. He's ready to make it up to him.

Rafael enters an empty and dark apartment. He doesn't call out for Sonny, because he assumes Sonny is asleep. Instead, he removes his jacket and goes to the kitchen for a drink.

He's two sips in when Sonny calls for him from the bedroom.

"Rafi? You here?"

Rafael takes a deep breath, bracing himself, then goes to their bedroom.

Sonny looks so tired, but so damn beautiful. Rafael missed him so much. He can't stop himself from going to the bed to place a kiss on Sonny's plump lips.

And he smells amazing; Rafael suspects he must have just gotten out of the shower. His skin is still hot, his hair still damp, and Rafael thinks he must not have anything on under the sheet haphazardly covering him.

Rafael goes to Sonny's side of his bed so he's standing behind Sonny. Sonny twists his head to look up at Rafael, and that's when Rafael leans over to kiss him.

"Mmm," Sonny sighs, happily and sleepily. "What was that for?"

"Because I'm sorry," Rafael says, kissing his cheek. "And I love you," Rafael adds, kissing the peak of Sonny's shoulder. "And I missed you," Rafael finishes, kissing Sonny's arm.

"You saw me, like, two hours ago. Remember? You kicked me out of your office and told me not to return until I was gonna be useful."

Rafael hangs his head, feeling like a complete ass. Then he says, "I kicked Detective Carisi out of my office. My husband Sonny, however, is welcome any time."

"We're kinda a packaged deal, Raf. Can't get your husband without that Detective Carisi hangin' around."

Rafael laughs. He watches as Sonny turns onto his back. He holds on to Rafael's tie.

Now on his back, Rafael can see the outline of his dick below the blanket and it's evident he's not wearing anything under the sheet. Rafael's gaze travels back up to Sonny's face, lingering on his lean stomach and chest and settling on his eyes. Sonny looks so tired, the dark circles under his eyes prominent and his cheeks pale.

He looks so tired, Rafael should let him sleep, but he so badly wants Sonny. They need to let out some steam, to become intimately acquainted again. Sex isn't the most important part of their relationship, but when work is getting too frustrating, they're up for quickies whenever they can. There was a two week stretch a while back where they had more sex in Rafael's office than they'd had the prior two weeks at home. It just helps.

"Do you..." Rafael sighs into a deep kiss, hands clutching Sonny's hip below the sheet. "Wait, Sonny, you need to go to sleep."

Sonny shakes his head. "Just c'mere, I'll nap after, I promise."

Rafael wants to climb onto Sonny, start touching him until Sonny starts making the sexy noises he makes when Rafael unravels him. But he needs a shower.

"Give me five minutes," Rafael mutters between sucking kisses to Sonny's lips. "Five minutes and you can fuck me."

Sonny groans. "Just let me--"

"Five minutes," Rafael whispers before licking at Sonny's lips.

Sonny moans. Some color returns to his cheeks and his legs spread.

Rafael tears himself away. "Don't fall asleep!" he calls from the bathroom doorway.

Rafael washes as quickly as he can, then takes the extra time to prepare himself so Sonny doesn't have to worry about it. Every few minutes he yells to ask Sonny if he's still awake, and to his excitement Sonny stays awake.

Rafael finally joins Sonny again. Sonny welcomes him back by kicking the sheet away; Rafael is pleased to see him fully hard.

"Yes," Sonny says, "I am happy to see you."

Rafael chuckles. "Dios mio..."

Rafael climbs onto the bed, climbs between Sonny's legs, and can't stop himself before he leans over to lick a wet stripe up Sonny's erection. Sonny whines, then Rafael swirls his tongue around the head and sucks it into his mouth.

"Oh, Jesus, Rafi..."

Rafael sucks gently, taking more and more of Sonny into his mouth. Sonny's hands fly to the back of his head, gripping his hair gently but firmly. Sonny thrusts lightly into Rafael's face and moans. Rafael lets Sonny use his mouth until Sonny can't take it anymore.

"Rafael, baby, I can't...I can't hold on..."

Rafael doesn't want Sonny to come too soon, so he pulls off Sonny with a wet pop. He looks up at Sonny, who just stares at him in awe and love and lust, his pink lips hanging open and his eyes dark with arousal.

Then, in seconds, Rafael straddles Sonny's hips and lines Sonny up, then slides down until his ass is against Sonny's pelvis.

Rafael leans over to capture Sonny's lips. He also grasps Sonny's hands to pin him to the pillow.

"Ahh, god, Raf--"

Rafael slowly begins to rotate his lips, lifting himself and sliding back in a smooth motion. Sonny moans beneath him, against his lips, into his mouth. Rafael wants to devour him.

Although he's enjoying the rub of Sonny's stomach against his untouched erection, Rafael knows neither of them will come this way, this slowly. And as much as he wishes this could go on all night, he knows Sonny does need to get some sleep.

Rafael sits up, raking his finger nails over Sonny's chest. Sonny's back arches, he throws his head back and grips Rafael's hips.

His gasps and moans turn into heavy pants of pleasure. "Yes, Raf...Rafi...Rafael, fuck..."

Rafael lifts his hips and maintains a steady rhythm, even when Sonny starts to press up. Then, Rafael just chokes out a low groan and lifts his hips to leave Sonny room to thrust himself.

"Baby, yes..." Sonny mutters. "You feel so fucking good, so hot..." His eyes flutter closed, but he doesn't quit his rhythm. "So good for me, baby, always so good for me...Just for me..."

Rafael grips his cock in hand and strokes roughly, incredibly turned on by Sonny's mindless writhing. It's like Sonny can't control himself, like he's so overwhelmed. And Rafael is doing it to him.

"I love you," Sonny whispers, "I love you baby, Rafael--T-tell me--"

Rafael jerks himself harder. "Te quiero mucho, Sonny, I love you so much--"

Sonny cuts him off with a long groan, his eyes shut tight and his fingers gripping Rafael's hips so tight he'll have bruises in the morning. He comes in hot spurts, Rafael can practically feel Sonny pulsing deep inside him.

Rafael follows close behind, coming all over Sonny's chest and stomach. He cries out, unable to stop himself, chanting Sonny's name.

When his brain surges back online, Rafael looks down at Sonny to see a giant smile on his husband's face. Sonny looks so blissed out, but so tired, and Rafael is reminded that Sonny is supposed to be sleeping.

Sonny grips his hand and pulls him down. Rafael accepts, telling himself to get up in a minute to clean Sonny up for his nap. He rests his head on Sonny's chest.

"I don't wanna move forever," Sonny slurs, sounding far more wrung out than he looks.

"I need to get up," Rafael argues. "I'll clean you up so you can take a nap."

"Ahh, fuck it," Sonny says. "I want to stay up with you, I missed you." He begins to stroke Rafael's hair.

"You need to get back to work to please the ADA."

Sonny snorts out a laugh. "You know that I live to please him."

Rafael grins. "I heard he's a dick."

"Mmm, yeah, he can be. He's fuckin' hot, though. Best ass I've ever seen."

Rafael lifts his head to look up at Sonny, who is smiling down at him. Rafael fondly rolls his eyes and gives Sonny another kiss.

Rafael finally pulls away to get out of bed, Sonny protesting until it seems he can't hold his own arms up any longer.

"I'll be right back," Rafael promises.

He leaves the bedroom to get some wipes from the bathroom, and when he returns Sonny is passed out already. Gently, Rafael wipes up the mess on Sonny's stomach, tosses the wipes in the trash, and climbs into bed with Sonny again.

* * *

 

A few hours later, Rafael's phone rings loudly through the bedroom. He sits up instantly, but Sonny still gently snores next to him. That's how Rafael knows how tired he is; usually Sonny jumps up first.

"Yeah?" Rafael answers.

On the other side of the line, Olivia explains the evidence they've found. She asks him to come to the precinct, to bring Carisi because they can use his help. He agrees, then hangs up and looks over at Sonny.

"Sonny," he whispers, poking Sonny's side. "Come on, we have to go to the precinct."

Sonny groans, waking up. "That dick of an ADA can't let me sleep for five more minutes?"

Rafael laughs. "Sorry, he needs you urgently."

Sonny opens his eyes. "Fine, fine."

Sonny sits up, about to leave the bed. Rafael grabs his arm before he can leave.

"Hey, I love you."

Sonny smiles at him. "I love you, too."

They share a quick kiss before getting up to get dressed.

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ThatOCLady asked for the boys reacting to women hitting on the other. We already saw Rafael's jealousy when he thought Sonny was flirting with Rollins. Here's the other way around.

Sonny's been watching this for twenty minutes. Just standing in the corner, quiet as a mouse because he's afraid of being scolded if he moves. He tries to not even blink.

"Here's my final offer," she says Ms. Davis, the sexy new defense attorney going against Rafael for the first time. She's got miles of legs, not that Sonny's noticed, and her sex appeal is off the charts. Sonny can tell she uses that in court.

Ms. Davis stands and plants her hands on Rafael's desk. She lifts a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and spouts what is apparently her final offer. Sonny looks at Rafael, who has an equally as amused look on his face. Sonny recognizes it as his playfully sexy face, he uses it when they're bartering who chooses their next meal. Sonny always loses. Ms. Davis is in for it.

Rafael stands, mirroring Ms. Davis' stance. He makes a counter offer, and Sonny watches them go back and forth like a tennis match.

"Ten years," Rafael says.

"Eight."

"Nine."

All the while, they're getting closer and closer. Sonny doesn't know what he's watching, if he finds it infuriating or hot. Rafael's lip quirks, and that's hot, but Ms. Davis catches it too, and she just looks at Rafael's lips, and that's frustrating. Sonny wants to climb onto the desk between them. He wants to shout, "Hey, look at me! Detective Husband over here!"

They're leaning over the desk, so close. Ms. Davis has the same look on her face that Sonny suspects he has at all times when looking at Rafael.

"What's your story? You single?"

Sonny finally steps forward.

Rafael smirks and lifts his hand to show his wedding band. "Married," he nods at Sonny. "To him."

Ms. Davis finally tears her eyes away from Rafael. Sonny lifts his hand to show his wedding band.

"And you're okay with this?" she asks Sonny.

"Not really."

Rafael stands and Ms. Davis follows suit. Rafael ushers her out of the room.

"I'll meet you in the judge's quarters in half an hour so you can surrender," Rafael tells her.

"Surrender? I'm only making it easier for you, Mr. Barba."

Once they're to the door, Ms. Davis leans in to Rafael when he reaches for the doorknob. Sonny wants to stand between them again.

"Is it just me or is this sexual tension explosive?"

Sonny wants to throw his hands in the air to get some attention again.

"That's why I'm ushering you out so quickly," Rafael says, "So I can make out with my husband."

"Mhm," Ms. Davis grins, practically winking at Sonny. "Enjoy."

She leaves the room and Rafael shuts the door.

"What the fuck was that?" Sonny explodes.

"Relax, Sonny. I told her I'm married, did I not?"

Sonny crosses his arms and pouts.

Rafael wanders over to him and envelops Sonny in his arms. "Come here, you big baby."

Rafael kisses his neck. "I have thirty minutes before I need to be at that meeting. Do you want to make out?"

"I guess," Sonny sighs.

Rafael grasps the back of his head and pulls him into a kiss.

Sonny pulls away, Rafael's mouth tries to follow his.

"I didn't love seeing that--"

Rafael licks at his lips. "Ssshh, your mouth..."

Their make out continues, moving to the couch in Rafael's office.

But finally, Rafael pulls away to attend his meeting.

"I've got to go," Rafael says.

"Not uh, baby, come on..."

"I have a meeting," Rafael tells him.

"Uh huh," Sonny says. "You've got to go make sex eyes at Ms. Davis."

Rafael ticks, pulling his jacket on. "Not in front of the judge."

"Just keep a safe distance, will ya?"

Rafael grins, stepping behind Sonny at the couch. Sonny looks up at him.

"I'll just make sure you're watching."

Rafael smiles down at him, then attacks him in another deep kiss, before taking off for his meeting.

Sonny just groans, wishing Rafael could have stayed, and wondering what he's going to get up to at his meeting with Ms. Davis.

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

**X) New Year's Kiss**

* * *

 

Six days before Christmas, the team caught a break on a huge case and Sonny got caught having to go under cover, again. He was so tired of playing a john, so tired of having to pretend to be into this disgusting crap that the men he's befriending are into. He feels disgusting after playing for a day, for an hour.

But this time the big guns came in, the FBI, and he ended up in Boston overnight. With no way of telling anyone himself, he at least hoped Benson was informed.

Six days before Christmas, Sonny is reminded because there's snow on the ground and Christmas music blaring everywhere. He gets in a cab and Baby, It's Cold Outside is playing on the radio, and he misses Rafael.

It's their first Christmas married, too. They only got married two months ago, and this was going to be a big deal. Sonny's mother made them their own stockings for their house, as she does for any of the kids when they get married. Sonny had Rafael's wedding ring inscribed with their wedding date on it. They both agreed to take a week off of work, and Rafael was taking Sonny on a surprise trip the day after Christmas. But Sonny doesn't think he'll be back by then.

Days pass, Sonny ends up in Chicago for Christmas. It's dreary, overcast and sad. Luckily not much happens, because even johns have families. There are a whole bunch of young girls who won't get Christmas with their families, though, and that makes Sonny want to work that much harder.

He misses Rafael so much. He drinks in an empty bar as the snow falls outside. He doesn't have a phone he can call Rafael on, hardly any money, and not even his wedding ring to keep him company.

Sonny returns to his cheap hotel room, where it stinks and is the most anti-Christmas-y thing ever. The sun is down and he thinks about just going to sleep, but soon he hears church bells close by. He jumps out of bed and follows the rings, where he ends up at Christmas evening Catholic mass. Finally, he feels familiar with any semblance of home, so he goes in and joins in the service.

* * *

  
Rafael is pissed. He's told Olivia a hundred times. He's told her that she's ruined his first Christmas married to his husband. He's told her that she's ruined his upcoming vacation. He's told her that she owes him big time.

"Raf, you know this was above me," Olivia tells him.

"It's not like you helped to stop it," Rafael mutters.

Olivia rolls her eyes and offers him another drink. It was the least she owed him, offering him somewhere to get drunk with a friend on Christmas.

"I'll give him two weeks when he gets back," Olivia says. "I promise."

Rafael just worries about him, about Sonny. He doesn't know where Sonny is, who he's with, what he's had to do. His poor Sonny.

And Sonny was so looking forward to Christmas. They went in with Bella and Tommy on the gift for their nephew that they thought every three year old deserved for Christmas, one of the Power Wheels cars for small children. And Sonny got to pick it out, which means he chose the police car. He was so excited to give the gift to their nephew, but he wouldn't be here for it.

Suddenly, it occurs to Rafael that his family may not know. His phone may be locked up right now, missing dozens of calls from his worried sisters, questioning why he wasn't at church. Rafael grows sick, knowing he needs to call them and tell them he knows nothing of Sonny's whereabouts.

He figures he'll call Bella, because Bella will be the most understanding. Actually, he thinks he should call Tommy, because Rafael could just say, "Hey, Sonny is undercover." And Tommy would just say, "Alright, stay warm Rafael." or something stupid like that. He wouldn't care, he wouldn't treat Sonny's mysterious work assignment as a big deal.

Alas, Rafael knows he needs to tell an immediate member of the family, so he goes into Noah's bedroom for privacy and calls Bella.

"Raf?" Bella answers, frantically. "Hey, where are you guys? Are you on your way?"

"Well--Hi, Bella. Actually--"

"Oh god, what happened? He never misses mass, he wasn't shot again, was he?"

"No, no, sorry to worry you. It's just...Sonny's been called on an assignment. He's undercover."

"What? Where? Doing what? For how long?"

"Trust me, if I knew I'd tell you. I have no idea."

"Okay," Bella says, calmly. "Okay, yeah, thanks for telling me. I'll tell everyone. Are you coming? Of course you're still welcome--"

"Honestly, Bella, I forgot about what day it is and agreed to have dinner at Olivia's house. Apologize to your parents for me, can you? When Sonny gets back, we'll have dinner that night."

"Alright, Raf. Get some rest okay? You sound beat."

"I am. Thanks, Bella. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas!"

Rafael hangs up and takes a deep breath. He misses Sonny so much.

* * *

 

Rafael goes into a slump for a week. Sonny hasn't been gone this long in...ever. Sonny has never been gone this long. Sonny has never had an assignment where Rafael doesn't even know where he is. Sonny's never disappeared like this.

Rafael works himself to death over the week that he should have been in Puerto Rico, on the beach drinking Sex On The Beaches with Sonny, wearing nothing but swim shorts, and, knowing Sonny, sunscreen for an entire week.

Rafael is supposed to be perfecting a tan even in the dead of winter, on the private part of the beach where only he and Sonny were welcome, because that's what he paid for. A private beach walkup right outside their villa.

But no. Instead, Rafael is in his office until midnight and drinking scotch for dinner. Luckily, he was able to divert the Carisis' insistent "Is he back yet?!" calls to Olivia, even though there was an argument of, 'But you're the husband!' 'But you're the boss!' In truth, Rafael just got tired of hearing his own voice saying Sonny isn't back yet. He was tired of lying to himself with "He'll be back soon!"

He has no idea when Sonny will be back, that's the problem. There's nothing for him to countdown to, there's nothing for him to knowingly look forward to.

On Sunday he goes to mass with his mother, because she insists they pray for Sonny's safety. Part of Rafael still thinks the church thing is silly, even though he and Sonny try to attend as often as they can. He knows praying is what Sonny would do, what Sonny has done. And this small thing makes him feel that much closer to Sonny, because he suspects Sonny is doing that exact same thing, wherever he is. Sunday is for praying. Sonny would try not to break that, no matter where he is.

Rafael is tense and quiet all through the service, just going through the actions like a robot and not really paying attention. He's thinking about the closing statement he needs to write, because work is all that keeps his mind off Sonny.

Mass ends, and Rafael ushers his mother outside into the snow.

"He's alright, Rafi," Lucia tells him.

"Yeah? How do you know?"

"Because I have faith that he is. It wouldn't kill you to have a little faith yourself."

Rafael hangs his head. "I just...don't know--"

"We pray, okay? Pray to have faith, pray for God to watch over him, pray that this will all be over soon and all the people he is helping right now are safe. Isn't that right? We pray."

Rafael slowly nods.

"Does he still have the St. Michael necklace I gave him?"

Rafael nods more confidently. "He never takes it off."

"Good. You worry so much, you're going to make yourself sick. And stop drinking instead of eating, I know you. I'll make you a few dishes that you can freeze until you want to eat them. I'll bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay?"

"Okay, Mami."

Lucia kisses his cheek. "He will be okay. Your Sonny is strong."

"Yes, he is."

Lucia pats his other cheek, then asks if he wants to go to breakfast. Rafael is about to say no, that he needs to go to work, but his stomach betrays him by growling loudly right at that moment. Lucia doesn't take no for an answer. Rafael goes to breakfast with his mother and it's the first time he's smiled in weeks.

* * *

 

Sonny does pray, a lot. He prays for the girls he's trying to save, he prays for his family to know that he's safe, and he prays for Rafael. Rafael can't be doing well alone, Sonny knows that, and he doesn't think Rafael would ask for God's help himself. He prays that Rafael can find the strength through this himself.

Sonny doesn't catch any real danger until a few days after Christmas. He's in Boston again, this time with some of the higher-ups of the group he's tailing.

It's not until there's a gun pointed at him that he realizes he's in danger. They ask him a million questions about where he's from, what he's done, why he's there. He remembers all of his answers the best he can, begs for his life, and they spare him. For whatever reason. Sonny won't question it.

They trust him. Eventually, they show him what he needs to see, they tell him what he needs to hear. He goes back to his FBI contact with a lot of news that night.

The next day, the FBI moves in, and Sonny's hellish time hopping cities to play the part is over. He finds himself on a plane back to New York on New Year's Eve.

His first stop after a cab from JFK is to the precinct, where he can retrieve his phone and, thankfully, his wedding ring. He slips the blue band on and feels a bit like himself again.

His phone is dead, so he goes to his desk to charge it while he takes a quick shower in the locker room. Luckily, he has an extra suit in his locker so he is able to change out of his disgusting clothes and can hopefully burn them later. He just tosses it all, not caring about the garments one bit.

When he returns to his desk, Sonny finds his phone on with a ton of messages. Most of them are from his sisters, from Christmas night when he didn't show at church or his parent's house, but some are from Rafael.

" _In case you get home, I'm at my mother's."_

_"In case you get home, I'm still at the office."_

_"In case you get home, Liv is making me watch Noah for her."_

And tonight:

_"In case you get home, I'm going to bed early. I don't want to welcome the new year without you."_

Sonny smiles, checking the time and finding he has enough time to get home before the clock strikes midnight. 

* * *

 

Rafael ignored all invites to go out tonight. He isn't a New Year's partier most of the time any way, and in the past few years, New Year's has been spent either quietly at home with Sonny or at the Carisi house, as all holidays are.

This year, he feels even less like being around anybody. He takes a glass of scotch to bed, after a filling meal, and vows not to wake up until Valentine's Day. At least then, hopefully Sonny will be back.

The scotch knocks him out in no time. Usually it doesn't, but he's tired and worn out from the long week he had avoiding all feelings whatsoever. He's emotionally and physically exhausted, so sleep is welcomed with open arms.

Rafael is deep into his R.E.M. cycle when the bed dips at his feet and cold is suddenly covering his entire body. He jumps awake, gasping loudly and looking up into black nothing. He can vaguely see two eyes staring at him.

"Sonny?!" he cries, hoping and also scared.

"Why, are you expecting someone else?" Sonny's too familiar voice says back to him.

"What are you doing here?" is all Rafael can get out, trying not to get too emotional.

"I thought the least I could do is be here to kiss you at midnight."

Sonny's phone alarm beeps from his pocket.

"Right on time," he whispers, leaning over Rafael and pressing his cold lips to Rafael's.

Rafael sighs, happily, so happily, and wraps his arm around Sonny.

It's the best kiss they've ever shared. It's sweet, and warm, and familiar, with a few runaway tears here and there. It's a promise, an apology, forgiveness. It's love.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! I can't believe it's over. It's been fun, thank you so much for reading it and not completely hating it (hopefully). I think I might do another 30 Day Challenge sometime, I had one set up a while ago but I didn't think anyone would read it. Look out for it! Again, thank you for reading. Happy New Year!


End file.
